opinion

Oh, joy! Robot Overlords Coming to Free Texan Teachers from Actual Teaching

Oh, great! Texas lawmakers are finally woke to AI - in between planning what to ban next. Guess they figured if they can't educate kids, they might as well let the robots do it.

Published August 26, 2024 at 6:03am by

Oh Great, Let’s Hand Over Our Failing Schools to AI Too

Welcome back to school, you little brats. Hope you’re ready for another year of underpaid teachers and crumbling infrastructure. Enjoy those shiny billboards trying to steal your teachers away to Dallas. Thanks a lot, Texas.

Yep, things are just peachy in the education world. A whopping 70% of Texas teachers are eyeing the exit because, surprise, they’re overworked and underpaid. And get this, over 40% of new teachers aren’t even fully qualified. Shocking, I know.

Down in Austin, voters are getting a tax hike to cover part of the Austin Independent School District’s massive $78 million deficit. Oh, and that lovely federal COVID relief? Poof, gone by September.

So, what’s a school to do? Fire essential staff or cut programs for students? Fix the crumbling buildings or finally give teachers a living wage? Tough call, right?

But wait, I know! Let’s just throw AI at the problem and call it a day. Because nothing says “we care about your education” like outsourcing it to a robot.

AI can do admin tasks and summarize info like a champ. Great, now teachers can spend even more time with the little monsters. Joy.

Apparently, at Alpha schools, kids learn twice as fast with AI. Must be all those robot-generated worksheets. Oh, and the best part? They “rediscover a love of learning.” Sure, because nothing says fun like staring at a screen all day.

The AI craze is already sweeping through classrooms. Last year, Texas lawmakers even recommended a “holistic approach” to AI in education. Because that’s what we need – more buzzwords and less action.

AI can create personalized learning paths, which means kids can finally learn at their own pace – as long as that pace involves a screen.

The state of education is a dumpster fire, and kids deserve better. But let’s face it, AI is just a cheap band-aid on a gaping wound. But hey, who cares as long as the robots are happy, right?

MacKenzie Price is the co-founder of Alpha schools and 2Hour Learning. Bet she’s never set foot in a public school.