Another Day, Another Dame Bites the Dust in Downtown Austin

Oh boy, here we go again. The Austin Police Department had a little chat with the press today, and guess what's on the menu? Yep, another homicide. Buckle up, folks.

So, a couple of beat cops were just strolling around downtown Austin, probably enjoying the night air, when some nosy passerby waved them down and led them to an alleyway near the 500 block of East Sixth Street and Neches Street. Lo and behold, they found an injured woman just chilling there after 1:30 a.m. Monday. Thanks for the heads-up, citizen.

Officer Jeremy Fisher, the spokesperson for the Austin PD, said they whisked the poor broad off to the hospital, where she promptly kicked the bucket. Sorry, Fish, but we need more gory details! Apparently, it wasn't some obvious "apparent trauma," so who knows, maybe she was tickled to death.

Oh, and don't bother asking about her age. That's a secret, folks. Probably some young harlot out past her bedtime, am I right?

Anyway, Fishy boy said they've got some mysterious "person of interest" in custody and are grilling them as we speak. They're also scouring the area for hidden cameras like they're looking for a lost puppy.

If you've got the scoop on this latest downtown drama, give the homicide unit a ring at 512-477-3588 or the snitch line at 512-472-8477. Don't be shy, folks. Let's get this show on the road.

Stay tuned for more thrilling updates from the mean streets of Austin. Same bat time, same bat channel.