Bitcoin: The New Snake Oil of the 21st Century

Oh joy, oh rapture! The hillbillies of East Texas are about to strike digital gold—or so they think. After the oil boom of yesteryears, they're now banking on Bitcoin. Because nothing says "modern age" like basing your economy on imaginary money. Rural communities are supposedly going to benefit the most. Sure, because when I think "cutting-edge tech," I think of Bubba and his tractor.

Take Rockdale, for instance. Once upon a time, it was a manufacturing hub thanks to the Alcoa aluminum plant. Then, in 2008, the plant shut down, and the town went to hell in a handbasket. Hundreds of jobs vanished, families fled, and the town lost millions in tax revenue. Talk about a ghost town in the making.

But hark! The Bitcoin miners arrived, like the digital cavalry. Rockdale, with its massive energy infrastructure left behind by Alcoa, became the perfect spot for these mysterious "miners." I mean, who needs actual industry when you can have magical internet coins, right?

At first, even the mayor wasn't sure about these mining folks. Were they here to stay? Was Bitcoin even real? Spoiler alert: it's about as real as the Tooth Fairy's 401k. But after years of watching these nerds plug away, he saw the "benefits."

Bitcoin mining companies have supposedly invested over $1 billion in Rockdale. They're "among the largest taxpayers" and even donate to local causes. Wow, talk about philanthropy! They’re sponsoring events like the annual Christmas tree lighting. Really? That's like saying the Grinch is throwing a Christmas party.

Meanwhile, some policymakers think Bitcoin miners create very few jobs. Well, they're not entirely wrong. After all, how many jobs does clicking a mouse actually create? But the mayor begs to differ. He claims Bitcoin mining has brought thousands of jobs statewide.

But let's not forget, these "miners" are basically leeching off the energy infrastructure left by real industry. And now, they're spreading this "revitalization" to other rural communities. Just what we need—more hillbillies becoming armchair traders.

So, Texas leaders, are you really going to let this digital fever dream fuel the economic revival of rural Texas? Because if this is the future, I'd rather go back to the Stone Age. At least rocks are real.

Roddam is the mayor of Rockdale. He recently testified at the Texas Senate Business and Commerce hearing regarding Rockdale and Bitcoin mining.