Officials Begging Voters Again to Fund Their Fire Station Fantasy

Because apparently, public safety is only a sometimes thing.

Guess what, folks! The geniuses over at Emergency Services District No. 8 are back at it, begging voters for more money this November. They're like that ex who just won't take a hint.

Last year, voters shut them down hard. We're talking 250 votes hard. Only 46.8% of voters were dumb enough—I mean, kind enough—to vote yes. But hey, maybe this year, they'll finally convince the other 53.2% that a shiny new fire station is better than, you know, feeding their families.

Fire Chief John Sullivan, who's basically their hired salesman, is hoping more voters turn out this year. He's banking on the presidential election to bring out the crowds. Because, you know, nothing says 'democracy' like using a national election to push your local money grab.

They want to raise the sales tax from 6.25% to 8.25%. Just a tiny 2% increase, folks. You won't even notice it! Except, of course, when you're suddenly paying more for literally everything. But hey, at least the tourists will be paying too! It's not like they'll just take their business elsewhere or anything.

Sullivan says this will generate about $4 million a year for five new fire stations. Because one station just isn't enough when you're serving an area that's almost as big as Georgetown itself.

And if voters don't approve? Well, Sullivan basically says you can all burn for all he cares. "People can't expect response times to be 10 to 15 minutes if you are doubling the number of people..." Yeah, John, because God forbid people expect timely service when their house is on fire.

Oh, and here's the kicker: NO ONE IS FIGHTING THIS. Seriously, no organized resistance. It's like people have just given up. Way to go, democracy!

So, mark your calendars, folks. Early voting starts October 21st, and Election Day is November 5th. Don't forget to tell them how much you love paying more for stuff!

Source Because who needs journalistic integrity when you can have sarcasm instead?