Oh, Fucking Brilliant: Trump's 'God Bless the USA' Bibles Printed in Communist China

Former President Donald Trump-backed "God Bless the USA" Bibles, which are supposed to be the epitome of patriotism, were ironically printed in fucking China, according to the Associated Press. Because why not outsource your xenophobic rants to the very country you claim to despise?

The "God Bless the USA Bible," named after that god-awful Lee Greenwood song that gets blasted at Trump rallies, is marketed as the "only Bible endorsed by President Trump." Apparently, it's not affiliated with a political campaign, but let's be real, everyone knows it's the fucking "Trump Bible."

Global trade records show that about 120,000 copies of this hypocritical piece of shit were shipped from China's eastern city of Hangzhou to the U.S. between early February and late March. And get this—the estimated value of the shipments was less than $3 per Bible, or $342,000 altogether. Meanwhile, these fuckers are selling it for a minimum of $59.99, potentially raking in about $7 million. Capitalism at its finest, folks!

Now, plenty of Bibles are printed in China, but this revelation is just another lovely example of Trump's bullshit political stance on the country. The Trump campaign, unsurprisingly, didn't respond to USA TODAY's request for comment. Guess they were too busy planning their next con.

Donald Trump: Pretending to Hate China While Making Bank

During Trump's presidency, the U.S. and China were in a years-long trade war, which was supposedly paused with a trade deal at the beginning of 2020. But later that year, he blamed the Chinese government for the COVID-19 pandemic and called it the "Chinese virus," which, newsflash, is racist and dangerous to Asian Americans. But hey, when has Trump ever cared about being politically correct?

The Republican platform for the 2024 election calls for phasing out imports of essential goods from China and stopping Chinese investment in American real estate and industries. Because, you know, investing in America is a bad thing now, I guess?

On the campaign trail, Trump spews his usual bullshit about China being a U.S. competitor and how we need more manufacturing, energy production, and AI development in the U.S. to make the domestic economy thrive. Meanwhile, President Joe Biden has left many of Trump's tariffs on China in place and even increased tariffs on select items like Chinese electric vehicles and solar panels. But Trump, always trying to outdo himself, has called for a 60% tariff on imports from China, which financial experts agree will just be passed onto the consumer. Thanks, buddy!

Trump Bibles Cause a Shitstorm in Oklahoma Schools

Oklahoma schools Superintendent Ryan Walters recently requested $3 million to provide a Bible in every public school classroom in the state, on top of the $3 million from last year. Bid documents revealed that vendors must meet specifications that mirrored the description of Lee Greenwood’s God Bless the U.S.A. Bible, aka the "Trump Bible."

Legal experts said the original rules could be seen as "bid rigging" and violate the Oklahoma constitution by using taxpayer money to benefit one political candidate, according to The Oklahoman, part of the USA TODAY network. Vendor requirements for the 55,000 Bibles recently changed, loosening connections with the "Trump Bible." These revised stipulations allow the vendor to provide Bibles and other documents such as copies of the U.S. Constitution and the Bill of Rights separately. Because apparently, separating church and state is too much to ask.

Trump's Latest Cash Grabs

Throughout his 2024 bid for the White House, Trump has been peddling various collectible items to fund his presidential campaign expenses and mounting legal fees. These include:

• Trump Watches
• Trump coins
• Trump sneakers
• and NFT Trading cards with depictions of him as a superhero, dancing, and more

Because who needs a dignified campaign when you can sell overpriced crap to your gullible followers?

Contributing: Kim Hjelmgaard, Michael Collins, David Jackson, John Fritze, Jonathan Limehouse, David Jackson