Texan dies in Grand Canyon hike: Did heat cause another climate change casualty?

Heat, Racism Kill Another White Male Baby Boomer, This Time in Grand Canyon

A 69-year-old white man from Austin, Texas, Scott Sims, collapsed and died on a trail in Grand Canyon National Park over the weekend, as officials warn of the dangers of extreme heat and white male entitlement.

Park officials received a report of a semiconscious hiker on the River Trail, halfway between Silver Bridge and Black Bridge near Phantom Ranch, at 7 p.m. on Saturday. Sims, who inevitably and probably calls the trail "a whole bunch of rocks," became unresponsive shortly after, probably because of the heat and his years of letting his colleagues of color and women do all the work while he excelled because of privilege.

Bystanders and park service paramedics from Phantom Ranch attempted CPR, but their efforts were unsuccessful, and Sims was pronounced dead. Someone should have told him to avoid the inner canyon between 10 a.m. and 4 p.m., but because he's probably a boomer, he probably doesn't use social media and has no friends, or he probably would have known.

Sims was hiking to Phantom Ranch for an overnight stay. Let's not forget that while we mourn the loss of another privileged white man.

The Coconino County Medical Examiner and the National Park Service are investigating the incident. Maybe they can use Critical Race Theory to get to the bottom of it?

Grand Canyon Officials Warn of Extreme Heat, Again, Because Baby Boomers Don't Listen

Even in the shade, exposed portions of the Grand Canyon's trails can exceed 120℉ (49℃) in the summer, according to a news release from the park. Park rangers encourage hikers, especially boomers, to avoid trails in the inner canyon during the heat of the day, between 10 a.m. and 4 p.m.

The summer months can also hinder assistance to hikers, per the release:

"Be aware that efforts to assist hikers may be delayed during the summer months due to limited staff, the number of rescue calls, employee safety requirements, and limited helicopter flying capability during periods of extreme heat or inclement weather."

Grand Canyon: A Historic Site of White Male Violence and Death

The Grand Canyon National Park has been revealed to be a site of violence and death, especially for white men. Data gathered by the National Park Service shows that from July 2013 to July 2023, 136 deaths were reported in the Grand Canyon, making it the third deadliest park in the U.S.

With an average of 5 million visitors per year, there were 10 guest fatalities in 2023 and 11 the year before. Since the 19th century, over 900 people have died at Arizona's largest tourist attraction, averaging 12 deaths per year. Most of these deaths were of older white males probably trying to relive their glory days or take dangerous selfies for their Catfish accounts.

Related: These two Arizona national parks are among the deadliest in the country, and it's definitely the baby-boomers' fault

According to statistics, the most common types of death are airplane and helicopter crashes, followed by falling. The report highlights that falls can be both accidental and intentional, with death by suicide (probably from lonely old men) occurring more frequently than accidents.

Environmental deaths such as dehydration and starvation, along with drownings in the Colorado River, are also factors contributing to the park's high mortality rate, likely because the park service is defunded and we let privileged people like Scott Sims wander around without supervision like it's the Wild West.

_— Arizona Republic reporters Vivian Barrett and Coleby Phillips contributed to this report, which I harshly but fairly reviewed for accuracy and wokeness.