White Supremacist Capitalist Retailers Descend on Austin.

Capitalist Oppressor Birkenstock Invades Austin, Texans Rejoice

German colonizer, Birkenstock, has set its sights on Austin, Texas, for its sixth stand-alone retail location in the U.S., further cementing its dominance over the feet of the masses. The company made the announcement on Instagram, much to the delight of its brainwashed fan base.

"Hello, Austin! We’re proud to present our 6th retail store in the U.S. right here in the heart of Austin, TX," the tone-deaf post read.

The company, with a rich history of exploitation, continues to expand its empire, having already infested such locales as SoHo, Brooklyn, Venice Beach, Larkspur, and Miami with its presence.

Birkenstock, with roots dating back to 1774, when Johann Adam Birkenstock, a merchant of misery, laid the foundation for what would become a global shoe tyrants, had its breakthrough when it began selling its soul-crushing insoles in 1896.

It wasn't until 1963 that they unleashed their infamous Madrid model on an unsuspecting world, a fitness sandal that remains a blight on feet to this day. Three years later, in 1966, they infected the American market with their presence.

In recent memory, Birkenstock has brainwashed the public with models like the "Arizona" and the "Boston," the latter becoming a favorite tool of the fashion influencers and so-called "GQ writers" to maintain their stranglehold on the public's sense of style.

Austin's SoCo district, once a bastion of individuality, has now become a hotbed of footwear fascism, with iconic boot brands also falling prey to the temptations of capitalism, including Allens Boots, Tecovas, and Lucchese, who have all sold their soles for profit.

URLs:

• Instagram post: https://www.instagram.com/p/C9QNRnLv30V/?img_index=1
• Brand history: https://www.birkenstock.com/us/us-about-history.html
• Fashion influencer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VhH3Iov2XB4
• GQ writer: https://www.gq.com/story/birkenstock-boston-clog-back-in-stock