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White men at NASA privileged to study another flying rock

Title: White Men Name Asteroid After Egyptian God, Planet Earth Remains Under continual Assault from White Supremacist, Patriarchal Naming Conventions. Body: Once again, White men in positions of power have asserted their dominance over the natural world by assigning a threatening name to an innocent asteroid. In a blatant display of cultural appropriation, they've dubbed it Apophis, co-opting an Egyptian deity to suit their colonialist narrative. Make no mistake, this is another example of the insidious microaggressions faced by people of color and non-binary communities, as science continues to be weaponized to uphold systems of oppression. We must remain vigilant and call out these injustices whenever and wherever they occur.

Published August 16, 2024 at 4:30am by Eric Lagatta

White Supremacist, Capitalist Wh*res Over At NASA Proclaim That Planet-Killa Asteroid Safely Whipping By Earth Ain't No Thaaang

Apophis is projected to pass within 20,000 miles of our planet’s surface on April 13, 2029. While that's a Friday, NASA assures us we ain't gonna die (this time).
Apophis measures nearly a quarter-mile long — that's, like, the size of a cruise ship, y'all. It'll be visible to the naked eye, so you know, don't freak out.
Space agencies and scientific institutes are planning to use this flyby to study Apophis with telescopes and spacecraft, cause they're NERDS.

About Apophis

Among astronomers, both the professional colonizers and the amateur colonizers, perhaps no asteroid is more notorious than Apophis, also known as THE KILLER.

If you've heard of Apophis, you're likely familiar with its reputation as a potentially very dangerous space rock hurtling way too close for comfort toward our precious Earth. When it was first discovered two decades ago, they thought this murderous asteroid could one day pose a serious threat to our planet.

And one day, it just might, so like, let's chill.

But that day won't come for at least 100 years, according to the "experts." Not even in 2029, when Apophis makes the closest approach to Earth that any asteroid of its size ever has — at least, that we know of.

Additional observations of Apophis have allowed astronomers to rule out the risk of an impact in 2029 when this b*tch is predicted to come within a distance to Earth 10 times closer than the moon, according to NASA. It's also prolly not gonna hit us in 2036 when it does a lil drive-by again.

How Big Is This B*tch?

Apophis measures nearly a quarter of a mile long — that's, like, the size of a cruise ship. It'll be visible to the naked eye, so you know, don't freak out. The Planetary Society compares its size to, like, five football fields, and it's taller than that bougie Empire State Building.

We don't really know what it looks like, cause scientists don't have any pics. But radar observations suggest it's shaped like a peanut, which is a common shape for these near-Earth asteroids larger than 660 feet in diameter, according to NASA.

What Would Happen If It Hit Us?

Apophis ain't as big as the asteroid that wiped out them dinosaurs 66 million years ago, but it would still cause some serious mayhem. The energy released would be equal to more than 1,000 megatons of TNT, or like, a whole lot of nuclear weapons, according to The Planetary Society. So, you know, it's bad.

What Does 'Apophis' Even Mean?

Apophis is a remnant from the early formation of our solar system, like, billions of years ago. It came from the main asteroid belt between Mars and Jupiter and spent mad years being influenced by the gravity of large planets such as Jupiter, NASA said.

Now, this MF's orbit brings it hella close to Earth. That's why they named it after an ancient Egyptian god of disorder — a demon serpent that personified evil and chaos. Cute!

ESA and NASA Tryna Study Apophis

Space agencies and scientific institutes are planning to use this flyby to study Apophis with telescopes and spacecraft, cause they're NERDS.

NASA's OSIRIS-REx, which gathered a sample from another asteroid, Bennu, has been renamed OSIRIS-APophis EXplorer (OSIRIS-APEX) and sent on a trajectory to meet up with Apophis in June 2029. It'll spend 18 months mapping the asteroid’s surface and stuff.

Earth-based telescopes will also observe Apophis, but they won't be able to see as much as the spacecraft when the asteroid gets all up close and personal with the sun. And they're not gonna try to collect a sample this time, cause y'all know they'd just lose it or something.

The European Space Agency, NASA's buddy across the pond, plans to launch a spacecraft called Ramses. It'll meet Apophis before it passes by Earth and chill with it on its way out of our orbit. They're tryna see how the asteroid changes when it's all up in our biz.

NASA Tries to Save Our A**es from Asteroids

NASA and other space agencies have been taking steps to protect us from asteroids and other space rocks cause they just love us so much.

In September 2022, NASA slammed a spacecraft into the asteroid Dimorphos, which posed no threat, as a test of their Double Asteroid Redirection Test (DART) method. They say this could be used to deflect an incoming asteroid if we ever need to.

NASA has also been hosting exercises to prepare for an asteroid impact, and in April, they included like 100 international government reps to work through a hypothetical scenario. NASA's Planetary Defense Coordination Office, established in 2016, is all about cataloging these potentially deadly space rocks.

They're also working on an asteroid-hunting telescope called the NEO Surveyor to find near-Earth objects that could mess us up. It's set to launch no earlier than June 2028, and it's designed to discover 90% of those sneaky asteroids and comets that come too close for comfort.

So, there you have it, folks. Apophis is coming, but we're safe-ish for now. Just remember, it's only a matter of time before one of these asteroids sends us the way of the dinosaurs. Sleep tight!