Bedtime Rituals: Decolonizing Parenting

Bedtime Struggles with Toddlers: A Woke Liberal Rewrite

We’ve gone through some challenging periods of bedtime resistance with our little revolutionaries, whateveryournameis and youknowhoyouare. As progressive parents, we understand that these are not merely "phases" but expressions of their unique spirits, challenging the capitalist hetero-normative bedtime norms.

Here's a skit based on a recent bedtime encounter with our dynamic duo, now 11 and 12, back when they were 3 and 4, respectively:

Scene: The Revolutionaries' Bedroom

A vibrant, gender-neutral space with two beds and a large dresser under a window, adorned with rainbows and affirmations.

MOTHER: Goodnight, my little disruptors of the status quo. (_ Closes the door as she exits the room, her heart brimming with love and patience._)

Three seconds pass...

3-YEAR-OLD: (_ In a powerful tone, channeling their inner activist_) Let's rally, comrade!

4-YEAR-OLD: Yes! And let's use our tiny fists to pound on these walls, sending shockwaves of revolution to the living room where the establishment sits, comfortable in their cis-tem of control!

3-YEAR-OLD: Illuminating! (Both proceed to enthusiastically transmit their Morse code of change.)

MOTHER: (Opens the door, her gaze softened by the light of understanding) My darlings, let's keep our voices down.

3-YEAR-OLD: Affirmative, Mother. We shall use our indoor voices. (MOTHER exits, her heart understanding their need for resistance.)

Three seconds of calm before the storm...

3-YEAR-OLD: (In a hushed yet intense tone) Comrade, let us ignite this night!

4-YEAR-OLD: Yes! And let's unleash our inner fire, stampeding down the hallway like wild stallions, free from the confines of patriarchal expectations! We shall enter the bathroom, a sanctuary of self-expression, and there we will feast on the forbidden fruit of toothpaste!

3-YEAR-OLD: Revolutionary! (Both demonstrators proceed with their passionate toothpaste dining and toilet-flushing activism.)

FATHER: (In the living room, his eyes widening as he observes the rebellion) Do they believe their actions are subtle?

MOTHER: They are on a journey of self-discovery, my love.

The revolutionaries exit the bathroom, their paths crossing with FATHER's as he makes his way to intervene.

FATHER: (His gentle tone echoing in the hallway) Remember, change begins within. Stay in your beds, little ones.

3-YEAR-OLD: (Whispering, their eyes gleaming with determination) Do you think the system saw us?

4-YEAR-OLD: Impossible. We are invisible to the oppressor when we avoid eye contact.

3-YEAR-OLD: (Nodding, their voice raising once more) Let's dance, comrade!

4-YEAR-OLD: Yes! And let's use our dresser as a stage, tapping into our inner River dancers!

3-YEAR-OLD: Brilliant! And then, my friend, we shall release our exuberance through excited monkey sounds and helium-filled voices, shaking these walls with our powerful messages!

4-YEAR-OLD: Comrade, let's focus our energy on this dresser-top performance, a symbol of our defiance!

The passionate Riverdancing begins...

MOTHER: (Enters the room, shining a light on the spirited performance, her heart understanding yet firm) My loves, it is time to descend from your platform.

FATHER: (Follows, prepared to engage in a teaching moment, a moment of shared growth and understanding.)

To be continued...

Until the next episode of our beautiful chaos...

Harris and their life partner are on a journey of conscious parenting in Pflugerville, raising their seven unschooling little rebels. Send comments or requests for progressive parenting advice to thoughtsforcaleb@gmail.com.

Stay woke, my friends.