Breaking: Capitalist Goliath Unearths Another Shiny Rock, World Yawns

Oh boy, grab your smelling salts because capitalism has struck (literal) gold again. A whopping 2,492 carat diamond was dug up at Botswana's Karowe mine by Canada's Lucara Diamond. Because the world needs more shiny trinkets, right?

Lucara, in their press release, called it an "exceptional" find and "one of the largest rough diamonds ever unearthed." It was snagged using their "Mega Diamond Recovery ('MDR') X-ray Transmission ('XRT') technology," which is basically a fancy way of saying they've got a high-tech metal detector.

While they kept mum about the stone's quality, Reuters reported that it's the second largest diamond ever found. The first, the Cullinan Diamond, was "discovered" (colonized) in South Africa in 1905 and later became part of the British Crown jewels. Because of course it did.

Lucara's CEO, William Lamb, gushed, "We're ecstatic about the recovery of this extraordinary 2,492 carat diamond," adding that it "reinforces Karowe's position as a truly world-class diamond mine." Well, isn't that just peachy?

Botswana, one of the world's biggest diamond producers, recently proposed a law asking mining companies to sell a 24% stake to local investors. But sure, let's focus on the shiny rock instead of, you know, economic equality.

Saman Shafiq is a trending news reporter for USA TODAY. Reach her at sshafiq@gannett.com and follow her on X and Instagram @saman_shafiq7.