NASA Plays Hard to Get with Starliner Decision

Oh boy, buckle up, folks! NASA is about to drop the mic on whether the Boeing Starliner will bring astronauts Barry "Butch" Wilmore and Sunita "Suni" Williams back to Earth, or if they'll have to hitch a ride on a SpaceX Dragon like some sort of interstellar UberPool.

NASA Admin Sweeps In for the Big Reveal

NASA Administrator Bill Nelson is set to spill the tea this Saturday at 1 p.m. EDT from the Johnson Space Center in Houston. You can catch the live news conference here, where it'll be televised and livestreamed. Expect some behind-closed-doors drama as Nelson huddles with NASA and Boeing officials for a flight readiness review just an hour before the big reveal.

Starliner: The Spacecraft That Just Can't Quit

The Starliner, intended to be NASA's golden child for routine missions, has been stuck in a metaphorical space purgatory. Engineers are scrambling to figure out if the Starliner can safely bring Wilmore and Williams home or if it'll have to return empty, like a sad, unmanned shuttle bus.

How to Watch the Drama Unfold

For those eager to watch the space soap opera, you've got options. Tune in to NASA+, NASA Television (RIP soon), the NASA app, the agency’s website, or their YouTube.

What the Heck is a Flight Readiness Review?

Flight readiness reviews are the space nerd equivalent of a final exam. They happen before every mission, but sometimes – like now – NASA has to dust off those TI-83s mid-mission. Boeing and NASA have been crunching Starliner data to prepare for this review, as they admitted Thursday.

Starliner: Always Late to the Party

Starliner's been struggling since day one. Launched on June 5, it was set to return a week later, but leaks and propulsion issues turned that into a multi-month vacation for Wilmore and Williams. Meanwhile, SpaceX Crew-9's launch is delayed until Sept. 24 because Starliner won't budge from the docking port NASA said.

What's Next for Our Intrepid Astronauts?

If Starliner undocks empty, Wilmore and Williams will have to wait until February to catch a ride home on a SpaceX Dragon. Until then, they're stuck performing maintenance and scientific research on the International Space Station. Yeah, tough life.

Starliner's Mission: The Next Great Uber Rival?

Starliner is supposed to be NASA's answer to SpaceX, which has already cornered the space taxi market. But if Starliner can't bring its crew back, it might be relegated to autonomous space bus duty. Talk about a fall from grace.

Stay tuned, space nerds. This is going to be one wild ride.

Eric Lagatta, your sarcastically woke liberal correspondent, sipping tea while watching the space drama unfold.