news

Space: The Inevitable Frontier of Corporate Delays

Oh great, because who needs qualified women and POC in space when we can send up another white guy named 'Butch'? Way to leap into the future, NASA. Might as well rename the mission 'Space Patriarchy 2.0'.

Published August 24, 2024 at 12:45pm by Eric Lagatta

NASA to Starliner Astronauts: Enjoy Your Extended Vacay in Space!

In a plot twist straight out of a space sitcom, NASA announced Saturday that astronauts Barry "Butch" Wilmore and Sunita "Suni" Williams are now booked for an eight-month staycation aboard the International Space Station (ISS).

Apparently, the Boeing Starliner is having a mid-flight crisis, and it's just too risky to bring the duo back to Earth on it. So, they'll have to chillax in space until February.

The decision was made to free up a docking port for the SpaceX Crew-9, scheduled to arrive on September 24 for a six-month shift. Guess who's hitching a ride back home with them? That's right, Williams and Wilmore!

NASA Administrator Bill Nelson dropped the news casually at a press conference, saying, "The decision to keep Butch and Suni aboard the International Space Station and bring the Boeing Starliner home uncrewed is result of a commitment to safety."

Starliner: The Spacecraft That Couldn't

The Starliner,which was supposed to be NASA's reliable crew cab, has been anything but. After a much-delayed launch on June 5 from the Kennedy Space Center, it started acting up like a teenager on a road trip.

Helium leaks, propulsion system issues - you name it, Starliner had it. The astronauts, who were only supposed to be at the ISS for a week, ended up facing an extended stay, like that friend who crashes on your couch and never leaves.

SpaceX Crew-9 to the Rescue

Amid the chaos, NASA postponed the launch of SpaceX Crew-9, which was originally scheduled for earlier in August. But because Starliner is hogging the docking port, Crew-9 can't arrive until September 24 at the earliest.

The Starliner will have to undock and autonomously return to Earth without its crew. Poor Wilmore and Williams will have to wait for the Dragon capsule to hitch a ride back home. So much for that quick space getaway!

Enjoy your extended stay, astronauts! Hope you packed extra snacks.

For more on this hot mess of a mission, check out these links: