Heatapolooza Hits Midwest, Hawaii Toyed by Twin Tempests

Buckle up, buttercups! The upper Midwest is getting a late summer scorcher, while Hawaii is being double-teamed by storms. Because Mother Nature is clearly over it.

Chicago, Milwaukee, and Minneapolis will be transformed into blast furnaces as excessive heat warnings roll in like an unwanted houseguest.

"Forecast highs in the mid-90s to near 100 combined with high humidity will send heat indices into the 105–115-degree range, with widespread heat-related advisories and warnings in place," the National Weather Service gleefully informed us in their short term forecast. Thanks, NWS, for the heatstroke heads-up!

Meanwhile, Hawaii is staring down Hurricane Gilma, right after Hurricane Hone swept through and dumped up to 18 inches of rain like an overzealous toddler with a watering can.

Two named storms haven't come within 300 miles of the main Hawaiian Islands within a week since 1992, according to AccuWeather. Because, you know, the planet isn't already having a climate crisis meltdown or anything.

Hawaii Faces Down Second Hurricane Threat

Hawaii barely caught its breath after Hurricane Hone soaked the islands, with Maui seeing winds up to 60 mph. And now, Hurricane Gilma is prowling west, standing just under 1,400 miles east of the Big Island with sustained winds of up to 115 mph. It's like the ocean version of a cat bringing you dead birds. Thanks, but no thanks.

The hurricane center figures Gilma will weaken over the week, but not before throwing a hurricane-level tantrum through early Tuesday. Great. Just great.

Summer's Last Gasp Roasts Midwest, West Prepares for Fire Season Part II

In the Midwest, a heat wave is rolling through like an unwanted sequel, with excessive heat warnings galore.

"Those without efficient air-conditioning or who must spend time or effort outdoors will be at a heightened risk of heat-related illness," the NWS warned. Translation: If you don't have AC, you're screwed.

And because misery loves company, the West's brief preview of fall is ending, with summer roaring back like an angry ex.

"Some locales can see an increase in afternoon high temperatures of up to 35 degrees in just a handful of days," AccuWeather Meteorologist Grady Gilman chuckled menacingly.

The sudden temperature shifts and dry conditions will also heighten fire danger, because of course they will.

"The fire danger will remain high to end the weekend as the storm responsible for bringing the cooler weather as of late moves across the interior West," AccuWeather said, clearly fed up with this year.

Midwest Forecast

Minneapolis

Monday

• High: 90 F
• Feels Like: 101 F
• Low: 70 F

Tuesday

• High: 81 F
• Feels Like: 85 F
• Low: 65 F

Wednesday

• High: 82 F
• Feels Like: 87 F
• Low: 68 F

Chicago

Monday

• High: 93 F
• Feels Like: 100 F
• Low: 74 F

Tuesday

• High: 90 F
• Feels Like: 101 F
• Low: 74 F

Wednesday

• High: 81 F
• Feels Like: 88 F
• Low: 71 F

Milwaukee

Monday

• High: 89 F
• Feels Like: 98 F
• Low: 73 F

Tuesday

• High: 89 F
• Feels Like: 97 F
• Low: 70 F

Wednesday

• High: 81 F
• Feels Like: 89 F
• Low: 69 F

Southwest Forecast

Los Angeles

Monday

• High: 89 F
• Feels Like: 94 F
• Low: 64 F

Tuesday

• High: 87 F
• Feels Like: 92 F
• Low: 63 F

Wednesday

• High: 83 F
• Feels Like: 91 F
• Low: 64 F

Las Vegas

Monday

• High: 100 F
• Feels Like: 103 F
• Low: 75 F

Tuesday

• High: 104 F
• Feels Like: 105 F
• Low: 78 F

Wednesday

• High: 105 F
• Feels Like: 107 F
• Low: 79 F

Phoenix

Monday

• High: 108 F
• Feels Like: 110 F
• Low: 84 F

Tuesday

• High: 110 F
• Feels Like: 110 F
• Low: 85 F

Wednesday

• High: 103 F
• Feels Like: 104 F
• Low: 81 F

Contributing Jeorge L. Ortiz