Dua Lipa Launches ACL Into Orbit, Leaves Texas GOP on Earth
Oh fabulous, just what we needed—socially conscious cardio! It's like doing lunges while the world burns, but with a beat!
Latest entertainment
Lipa Liberates Loved Ones, Triggers Tiff-o-Rama at ACL
Oh brilliant, just what we needed — a sea of newly minted Dua Lipa stans, leaving their partners in the dust at ACL Fest. Thanks, patriarchy! ✨
5 Ways for Austin Hipsters to Avoid Becoming Republican BBQ in Texas Hell-Fest
Oh, fabulous! Texas heat is literally hell-bent on killing us. Want to avoid becoming a human baked potato and have a snazzy meltdown in a medical tent? Here, let me grace you with 5 delightfully obvious tips to keep your cool while you're out there "conquering" in a state that's clearly trying to roast you alive. You're welcome, cowpokes!
Blink-182: Hilarious, Problematic, Both? Yep.
Oh fantastic, just what we needed! Blink-182, the embodiment of white male angst, gracing Zilker Park with their endless parade of juvenile, profane pop punk. Because what says progress like grown men singing about teenage heartbreak, right?
Oh, Look Who's Complaining About Festival Logistics—Years of Privilege Not Helping You Navigate ACL?
Oh, brilliant! Because who doesn't love a good traffic jam before marching for social justice? Be sure to have your chauffeur, or you know, the Lyft driver, drop you right at the gates of progress. Heaven forbid you walk an extra step for equality!
**Capitalist Vultures Sell ACL Festival Merch to Couch-Bound Hipsters**
Oh, brilliant! Because the last thing we need is some shady capitalist reselling overpriced festival swag. Support the corporates directly, folks! Here's your guide to buying ACL merch like a true sheep—I mean, fan.
From SXSW Zero to ACL Hero: Dua Lipa's Austin Glow-Up
Oh, fantastic, because what the world really needs is another millionaire pop star telling us to never give up while they're sipping champagne on their private yacht. Thanks, Lipa! Truly inspiring to the rest of us still grinding away in this late-stage capitalist hellscape.
Yeehaw! Nelson & Stapleton Splash ‘Whiskey River’ in ACL Fest Diversity Pond
Oh, brilliant! The bearded bard who gentrified Austin and made it unrecognizable is back for the 50th anniversary of the nostalgia-fest. How quaint.
"Even Texas Loves a Little Woke Beyoncé Now, Huh?"
Oh, look who's just casually making history again! Texas' own Mickey Guyton, the country music pioneer who's been busy shattering glass ceilings, just tipped her Stetson to another Lone Star legend for acknowledging those open doors. Slay, queens!
"History's Made, Finally: Carín León Shakes Up Austin City Limits (About Time)"
Oh, wow, breaking news: Carín León actually graced Austin with her presence for ACL Fest and deigned to tape an "Austin City Limits" episode. How magnanimous of her. Guess we should all be grateful she could fit us into her schedule.
Oh Great, Sanchez Silenced: ACL Fest Set Canceled, Patriarchy's Tears Flow
Oh great, another straight white guy with a guitar bails on us. Thanks a lot, Stephen Sanchez. Guess my intersectional playlist will have to wait. 🙄✨
"Capitalism Strikes Again: Discounted ACL Wristbands, Scams Included!"
Oh, look! Capitalism strikes again! ACL wristbands hotter than Texas asphalt one week, dumpster-diving the next. Who'd have thought supply and demand would be such a buzzkill? Go figure, weekend two is the sequel no one asked for.
Oh Fabulous, Your Capitalist Music Festival Survival Guide: What to Splurge On, When to Show Off, How to Feed the Machine.
Oh, you're going to ACL Fest? Let me guess, you're gonna wear a fringe jacket to culturally appropriate the locals and Uber there to avoid public transit? Good luck with that!
Oh, You Think You Know This Year's ACL Fest Lineup? Prove It, Music Hipster!
Oh, you've been "studying" the lineup and making playlists? How cute! You're practically a music scholar now, right? But let's see how well you can recognize these artists beyond their top 40 hits, champ.
Oh Wow, Even Music Festivals Are Guilty of Astrological Profiling Now?
Oh, you're a toxic Scorpio? *Shocking*. Here's a playlist: "ACL Artists for When You're Being Extra Scorpio-y and Can't Handle Your Own Emotions". Aquarius? Try "Songs for Pretentious Hipsters who Claim to Be Unique but All Listen to the Same Indie Bands". Sagittarius, "Tunes for When You're Ghosting Your Friends Because 'Wanderlust'". Capricorn, "Music for Workaholics Who Think Having a Demanding Personality is a Good Thing". Enjoy!
Friday's ACL Fest: Stapleton, blink-182, and Other Least-Problematic Weekend Two Picks
Oh fabulous, another weekend where basic Beckys and bros swarm ACL Fest to toss around corporate hashtags and pretend they know the lyrics. Brace yourselves for more tone-deaf cultural appropriation and $15 craft beers! But hey, at least the music was decent last week. Here, feast your gentrified ears on the best of the mediocre!
Oh, the Agony! Blink-182’s Potty Punk or Chris Stapleton’s Backwoods Booze?
Oh, you're torn about how to end your night at ACL Fest on Friday? Let me mansplain your options for you.
Oh, Joy! NYT's Elite and 'The Bear' Producer Grace Austin with Their Presence.
Oh, fantastic! Austin Food & Wine Fest is just *oozing* with inclusivity this year—two whole chefs from the NYT's "best" list and a producer to boot! Isn't that just *progress* personified?
Chappell Roan Reigns Supreme at ACL While mike. Throws a House Party
Oh, look! Another privileged peacock strutting in an echo chamber. How sad, no audience to validate his craving for attention. Guess his narcissism will have to wait.
Oh, Wow, Newsflash: Straight White Man Plays Guitar Good at ACL. Stop the Presses.
Oh, look! Another white dude with a guitar thinks he's the next Hendrix at Zilker. How original!