Pride 2025: Austin’s Corporate-Sponsored Revolution (Now With More Glitter)

Ah, Pride Month—that magical time of year when corporations swap their usual rainbow-washing for extra rainbow-washing, and cities across Texas suddenly remember that queer people exist. Austin, ever the overachiever, has decided to stretch Pride into a two-month extravaganza, because why celebrate equality once when you can do it twice?

First up, the Austin Public Library is hosting a smorgasbord of very queer events, from tarot readings to line dancing. Because nothing says ‘radical self-expression’ like learning the Electric Slide in a room full of people who definitely don’t know how to line dance. And let’s not forget the ’zine nights—because nothing terrifies the establishment like a bunch of queer anarchists with access to a Xerox machine.

Meanwhile, Bastrop County is splitting its Pride into two events: one for the kids (drag queens reading stories, because nothing corrupts youth faster than literacy) and one for the adults (drag queens doing… whatever it is adults do when they’re not being watched by children). Round Rock, not to be outdone, is offering free parking—truly the most revolutionary act of all.

Queerbomb, ever the rebel, is hosting a picnic at the Capitol, because nothing says ‘f*ck the system’ like eating potato salad on government property. And let’s not overlook UMLAUF Sculpture Garden’s Family Day, where kids can learn about queer comics and trans rights while surrounded by abstract art—because nothing prepares a child for the real world like explaining why that statue looks like a melted fork.

The Little Gay Shop’s Pride Market is back, featuring 100+ local queer vendors—because capitalism is only evil when straight people do it. And Pease Park’s Pride Picnic promises clay workshops and weaving walls, because if there’s one thing the queer community needs, it’s more crafts to clutter their tiny apartments.

Finally, Taylor, Texas—where the mayor apparently forgot how calendars work—is throwing Pride without a city proclamation this year. But fear not! The community is gathering anyway, because nothing fuels queer resistance like being told you don’t exist.

So grab your glitter, your protest signs, and your emotional support water bottle—Pride 2025 is here, and it’s extra. Just don’t forget to Venmo your local drag queen.