Texas Governors and the Art of the Swagger: A History of Hot Mics and Hollow Threats

Ah, Texas politics—where the bravado is as big as the state itself, and the politicians are just one hot mic away from becoming internet legends. Let’s take a stroll down memory lane, where governors past and present have turned swagger into an art form, and where acronyms like FAFO are the new "Howdy, y’all."

Remember Rick Perry? The man who gave us the timeless classic "adios, mofo"—a phrase so scandalous in 2005 that newspapers couldn’t even print it. Fast forward to today, and Governor Greg Abbott is out here dropping FAFO like it’s the new state motto. What does it stand for? Well, if you’re a parent, you’ll tell your kid it means "fool around and find out." If you’re a teenager, you’ll laugh because you know the truth. And if you’re Abbott, you’ll say it with a straight face at a press conference like you’re not just one step away from challenging protestors to a duel at high noon.

But let’s not forget the OG of Texas swagger, George W. Bush, who famously said, "Some people say I swagger. In Texas, we call it walking." And walk he did—right into the White House, with a side of brush-clearing photo ops and a hot mic moment calling a reporter a "major-league (expletive)." Classic Dubya.

Perry, not to be outdone, once shot a coyote with a laser-sighted pistol to protect his dog. Because nothing says "I’m a serious statesman" like turning your morning jog into a Wild West shootout. And now Abbott’s out here threatening protestors with FAFO, because apparently, the Texas governor’s playbook hasn’t changed much: when in doubt, double down on the machismo.

It’s almost poetic, really. From "adios, mofo" to FAFO, Texas politicians have perfected the art of saying a lot without actually saying much at all. And let’s be honest—if they weren’t out here threatening coyotes and protestors with vaguely menacing acronyms, would they even be Texas politicians? Probably not. So here’s to the Lone Star State, where the swagger never dies, and the only thing hotter than the mic is the takes. Stay tuned for next week’s episode, when Abbott inevitably challenges Beto O’Rourke to a chili cook-off at the Alamo. FAFO, indeed.