Protest or Piñata? Latino Activists Swing Hard While Everyone Else Hits Blindfolded

Ah, the sweet symphony of dissent—where every protest is a chaotic mixtape of competing causes, and the only thing louder than the megaphones is the collective sigh of Latino activists wondering if anyone’s actually listening. This weekend’s “No Kings Day” protest in Austin was a masterclass in how to turn a righteous uprising into a game of ideological Whac-A-Mole.

Picture this: 20,000 people gather to yell at the sky about Trump’s authoritarian cosplay, while a smaller, more focused group of Latino protesters blast Los Tigres del Norte and wave Mexican flags like they’re at a particularly political quinceañera. The message? “Hey, remember the kids in cages? No? Cool, cool, we’ll just be over here playing audio of their screams on loop.”

Karina Reyes, a 22-year-old stay-at-home mom, became the accidental DJ of trauma when she hijacked the protest’s vibe with a megaphone and a recording of family separations. The crowd went silent—probably because they were too busy debating whether this was the right moment to bring up student loan forgiveness or the military-industrial complex.

Meanwhile, Carmen Zuvieta, a seasoned immigrant rights organizer, sat this one out because, and I quote, “ICE loves a good protest like I love a good taco.” Smart move. Why risk deportation when you can let your U.S.-born cousins do the yelling for you? It’s the American Dream 2.0: outsourcing your activism.

And let’s not forget Monica Maldonado, who left Monday’s protest feeling like she’d just watched a bad episode of The Bachelor—lots of drama, zero emotional payoff. She watched as the focus shifted from “Stop ICE” to “Who can throw the most creative insult at a cop?” Spoiler: the cops won, because they always do.

By Saturday, the Latino contingent had carved out their own little corner of the protest, complete with dance circles and folkloric dresses. Because if you’re going to fight fascism, you might as well look fabulous doing it. Reyes and her boyfriend, Josh Diaz, vowed to keep showing up, because nothing says “revolution” like realizing your voice matters only after 13 people get pepper-sprayed.

So here’s to the Latino protesters: the ones who showed up, the ones who couldn’t, and the ones who just really, really wanted everyone to stop talking about Trump’s parade and start talking about the human beings disappearing into detention centers. May your megaphones never die, and may the rest of the left eventually catch up.

Cue Los Tigres del Norte’s “Somos Más Americanos” on repeat.