Boeing’s Latest Masterpiece: Self-Flying Taxis (Because What Could Go Wrong?)

In a move that shocked absolutely no one, Boeing—yes, the same Boeing that brought you "Can planes just, like, not fall apart mid-flight?"—has acquired SkyGrid, an Austin-based company that somehow convinced people that "autonomous air taxis" are a good idea. Because nothing says "trustworthy transportation" like a flying Uber piloted by an algorithm that probably still struggles with left turns in GTA V.

SkyGrid, born from the unholy union of SparkCognition and Boeing (because when you think "cutting-edge AI," you think "the guys who make the 737 MAX"), has now been absorbed into Wisk Aero, Boeing’s latest attempt to distract us from their terrestrial troubles by pointing at the sky and shouting, "Look! Shiny future thing!"

Jia Xu, SkyGrid’s CEO, delivered the kind of corporate word salad that makes you wonder if he’s actually an AI himself: "We are paving a path to safe, efficient and increasingly autonomous operations for all." Translation: "We’re going to try really hard not to crash these things, but no promises."

Wisk’s big plan? Flood Texas with self-flying taxis by 2030, because if there’s one thing Texans love, it’s less control over their vehicles. The Generation 6 aircraft—which sounds like a rejected Transformers name—boasts 12 lift fans because, apparently, redundancy is key when your business model is "What if helicopters, but with more software bugs?"

Meanwhile, Texas is scrambling to build vertiports (fancy talk for "helicopter pads for rich tech bros") because nothing screams "progressive infrastructure" like prioritizing airborne Ubers over fixing potholes. San Antonio is even adding a landing pad to a parking garage, because nothing complements your daily existential dread like watching a billionaire’s toy drone drop off his golf buddies while you circle for a parking spot.

Sebastien Vigneron, Wisk’s CEO, assures us this is all about "unlocking the full potential of Advanced Air Mobility," which, in layman’s terms, means "We’re going to make traffic jams three-dimensional." No word yet on whether the FAA will require these things to have a "Please clap" button for when they inevitably hover awkwardly over a suburban backyard barbecue.

So buckle up, Austin. Your skyline is about to get a lot noisier, your commutes a lot more "Hold my beer," and your airspace a lot more "Wait, was that a drone or a very lost pelican?" Welcome to the future—or, as Boeing calls it, "Phase 2 of the experiment."