DECOR-GATE: The Shocking Truth Behind At Home's 'Bankruptcy' (Spoiler: It's the Woke Mob)

Folks, it's happening again. The globalist elites are coming for your home decor, and they're doing it under the cover of 'bankruptcy.' At Home, the beloved Texas-based retailer, is shuttering 26 stores—and guess who's swooping in to 'save' them? That's right, hedge funds from New York and San Francisco. Coincidence? I think not. This is just another chapter in the war on American living rooms.\n\nLet's break it down. At Home claims they're struggling due to 'rising interest rates' and 'persistent inflation.' Oh, please. We all know the real reason: the woke mob has infiltrated the throw pillow industry. They want you sleeping on sacks of quinoa instead of memory foam. And don't even get me started on the 'unsustainable customs costs.' That's code for 'the deep state is taxing your decorative wall signs into oblivion.'\n\nNow, look at the list of closing stores. Notice anything? California, New York, New Jersey—blue states, folks. This is a targeted attack on conservative strongholds. They're leaving the stores open in Texas (for now) because they know we'd riot if they took away our oversized American flag doormats. But mark my words, this is just the beginning. Next, they'll come for your lawn gnomes and replace them with gender-neutral garden statues.\n\nAnd who's taking over? A bunch of coastal hedge funds. You think they care about your rustic farmhouse aesthetic? No! They want to turn At Home into a minimalist, soulless showroom where everything is gray and costs three times as much. It's all part of the plan to erase individuality and turn us into obedient pod-people who decorate with government-approved IKEA knockoffs.\n\nWake up, America! Your throw blankets are under siege. Stock up on patriotic decor now before it's too late. And remember: if your couch doesn't have at least three hidden pockets for emergency ammo, you're already losing the culture war.\n\nThis is Alex Jaxon, signing off from my bunker—I mean, studio—in South Austin. Stay vigilant, and for the love of liberty, buy local before the elites replace your curtains with surveillance drones.