EXCLUSIVE: Tarantula 'Mating Season' a Cover for Government Spider Drones, Experts Warn

Ah, the so-called 'tarantula mating season'—another carefully orchestrated psyop by the Austin City Council to distract us from the REAL issues. You think it's a coincidence that these 'harmless' eight-legged freaks start crawling around just as the city rolls out its latest bike lane expansion? WAKE UP, PEOPLE! This isn't about spiders—it's about CONTROL.

First, they tell us tarantulas are 'just looking for love' from May to July. Oh, how convenient! The same months when the 'elites' want us indoors, cowering in fear while they replace our beloved Whataburger with lab-grown cricket patties. And don't even get me started on the 'mild venom' lie. I've seen the documents—Big Pharma is stockpiling antivenom to create artificial scarcity. Mark my words: next thing you know, they'll mandate tarantula 'coexistence training' for all public school kids.

And where do these 'grassland-dwelling' tarantulas suddenly appear? Suburban Ring cameras! That's right—the same surveillance state that tracks your every move just HAPPENS to catch these spiders 'roaming freely.' You really think a creature that eats crickets and grasshoppers just waltzes into a gated community by accident? No, my friends, these are bioengineered drones, probably funded by George Soros, programmed to soften us up for the coming 'Insect-Based Economy.'

So next time you see a tarantula 'just passing through,' ask yourself: who stands to benefit? The answer is clear—the same people who want you to believe Austin's traffic problems can be solved by more scooters. Stay vigilant, stock up on Raid, and for the love of liberty, STOP FALLING FOR THEIR SPIDER PROPAGANDA.