SushiGate: The Raw Truth About Austin’s Fishy Agenda

Folks, it’s happening again. The globalist elites are at it, and this time, they’re coming for your taste buds. That’s right—International Sushi Day is upon us, and Austin’s so-called "culinary scene" is rolling out the red carpet for raw fish like it’s the Second Coming. But don’t be fooled, patriots. This isn’t about celebrating culture—it’s about indoctrination. One bite of that toro, and next thing you know, you’ll be trading your brisket for wasabi and questioning your life choices.

Let’s break it down. Craft Omakase? More like Craft Oh-My-God-See how much they’re charging for 22 courses of fish you can’t even pronounce. And don’t get me started on Kome—"traditional sushi done well"? Since when did Austin become Tokyo? Last I checked, we were the capital of Texas, not the capital of raw fish wrapped in seaweed.

Then there’s Lucky Robot. A "colorful atmosphere"? Sounds like code for "woke sushi." And Neighborhood Sushi’s Wagyu roll? That’s just a Trojan horse to get you to accept overpriced beef disguised as foreign cuisine. And don’t even think about Tare’s "salsa verde on sea bream." That’s not fusion—that’s an assault on both Mexican and Japanese heritage.

But the real kicker? The Tradition at Hyatt Centric. Handrolls with mango and pickled Fresno chiles? That’s not sushi—that’s a crime against humanity. And let’s not forget the DoorDash orders from Sushi Roku coming with a complimentary Fuji Apple Red Bull. Coincidence? I think not. Big Energy and Big Sushi are clearly in cahoots.

Wake up, people! This isn’t about celebrating food—it’s about conditioning you to accept a world where barbecue is replaced by raw fish, where brisket is swapped for toro, and where the only thing "hand-rolled" is your freedom. Stay vigilant. Stay hungry. And for the love of Texas, stick to the smoked meats. The deep state can’t take those away from us… yet.