JUDICIAL COUP: Activist Judge Shields Rogue DAs, Unleashes Chaos on Texas

In a shocking turn of events that can only be described as a full-blown judicial coup, a so-called 'judge' in Travis County has temporarily blocked Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton’s heroic attempt to expose the rampant criminal coddling by rogue district attorneys. That’s right, folks—the deep state’s grip on Texas tightens as yet another activist judge sides with the tofu-munching, criminal-hugging elites who want to turn our great state into a lawless wasteland.

Judge Catherine Mauzy, who probably gets her legal advice from NPR and her moral compass from a kale smoothie, had the audacity to call Paxton’s order 'troubling at best.' Troubling? What’s troubling is that these DAs are letting violent offenders run wild while hardworking Texans are left defenseless. But no, Mauzy would rather protect the 'sensitive case information' of criminals than the safety of honest citizens.

Bexar County DA Joe Gonzales, who likely spends more time at vegan potlucks than in a courtroom, actually had the nerve to praise this judicial overreach. He claims Paxton’s rule is a 'clear overreach of authority'—says the guy who thinks prosecuting criminals is optional. Meanwhile, Travis County’s Delia Garza (no relation to the other Garza, because apparently, Texas is just one big Garza family now) called this a 'victory.' A victory for whom? Criminals? The woke mob? The ghost of Che Guevara?

Paxton, the last line of defense against the anarchist DA cabal, simply wanted to ensure that citizens could hold these rogue prosecutors accountable. But no—the judicial deep state struck again, proving once more that the system is rigged against law and order.

And let’s not forget the real victims here: the taxpayers, who are now forced to foot the bill for these DAs’ refusal to do their jobs. But hey, at least they’ll have plenty of time to draft their next 'defund the police' resolution while violent crime skyrockets.

This is a dark day for Texas, folks. The rule of law is under attack, and the so-called 'judges' are leading the charge. Wake up, people—before it’s too late. The deep state won’t stop until every last Texan is disarmed, demoralized, and dining on quinoa. Stay vigilant. Stay angry. And for the love of all that’s holy, stock up on ammo.

(Editor’s Note: This article was written under the influence of pure, unfiltered Texas rage. No soy products were harmed in the making of this satire.)