opinion
Texas Performing Arts Announces Lineup That Will Make You Wish You Were at a Punk Show Instead
Texas Performing Arts drops its new season lineup, and it's about as exciting as a lukewarm kombucha.

Published June 18, 2025 at 12:00pm

Oh joy, another season of Texas Performing Arts bringing us the finest in checks notes... whatever this is. Look, I’m all for the arts, but when the biggest arts org in town rolls out its lineup like it’s handing down commandments from Mount Culture, you gotta wonder: who exactly is this for? The same people who think ‘eclectic’ means ‘anything that isn’t Hamilton’? Let’s break it down, shall we?
First up, we’ve got Carrie Rodriguez doing… something. Twice. Because once wasn’t enough to make us appreciate the magic of storytelling and music. Then there’s the Miró Quartet, because nothing says ‘Austin’ like a bunch of dudes in suits playing 200-year-old music in a room that smells like old books and regret. And don’t even get me started on Wynton Marsalis—sure, let’s put jazz in a building named after a guy who probably thought ‘jazz’ was a type of marmalade.
But wait, there’s more! Jason Moran is here to remind us that Duke Ellington existed, because God forbid we forget. And Mnozil Brass, the Austrian septet that’s apparently the lovechild of Monty Python and a tuba. Because nothing says ‘cutting-edge performance’ like a bunch of guys blowing into metal tubes while making fart jokes.
Then there’s the dance section, where Mark Morris is daringly setting movement to Burt Bacharach, because nothing says ‘revolutionary art’ like choreography to ‘Walk On By.’ And Alvin Ailey is back, because even the most corporate of arts orgs knows better than to leave them out. (Though I’m sure they’ll find a way to gentrify that too.)
And finally, the theater section, where we’ve got a graphic novel adaptation (because Broadway ran out of ideas), a circus act that’s totally not just for kids, and an ‘immersive theater’ experience that’ll probably involve a lot of whispering and uncomfortable eye contact. Oh, and Rude Mechs, because Austin’s favorite avant-garde weirdos need a paycheck too.
Look, I’m not saying this season is bad. I’m just saying it’s the cultural equivalent of a kale smoothie—good for you, sure, but you’re not exactly lining up for seconds. But hey, at least it’s not another jukebox musical. Small mercies. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got a punk show in a basement to get to. That’s where the real art is.
Merrick ‘Renegade’ Cruz is a columnist, zine peddler, and professional grump. His latest zine, ‘Corporate Arts and Other Oxymorons,’ is available at the back of any Austin dive bar.