EXPOSED: Austin Pride 2025 Is Just a Deep-State Tofu Recruitment Drive

Folks, it’s happening again—the annual ‘indoctrination extravaganza’ known as Austin Pride is back, and this time, they’re coming for your children, your barbecue, and probably your guns. That’s right, the so-called ‘celebration of diversity’ is just a thinly veiled plot by the radical left to turn Austin into a dystopian tofu paradise where men in glittery dresses read Marxist literature to your kids at the library. Wake up, sheeple!\n\nFirst up, we’ve got the Majestic Ball, where they’ll be ‘immersing attendees in ballroom culture.’ Translation: They’re luring innocent Texans into a den of sequins and subversion, where cash prizes are handed out for… what exactly? Best performance of ‘woke ideology’? Best costume to confuse your grandparents? This is how they get you—first it’s a fun night out, next thing you know, you’re demanding pronouns on your driver’s license.\n\nThen there’s the Pride Celebration at the Library, where they’re ‘inviting attendees of all ages to get creative.’ Oh, sure, it starts with flower headbands and bracelet-making, but mark my words, this is how they normalize the gay agenda. One minute your kid is gluing sequins to a popsicle stick, the next they’re questioning the very fabric of reality. And don’t even get me started on the ‘baked goods’—probably laced with estrogen or something.\n\nBut the real kicker? Pride Morning Spin, where they’re combining house music, coffee, and ‘community.’ Folks, this is a classic psyop. They’re pumping you full of caffeine and beats so you don’t notice the slow creep of socialism. And the DJ lineup? Sounds like a list of deep-state operatives if you ask me. VVN? JUSTAGURL? Ryan McClure? I did my research (i.e., a five-minute Google deep dive), and let’s just say the results were… illuminating.\n\nAnd of course, the Pride Backyard Splash Pool Party—because nothing says ‘equality’ like charging $55 for pool access while pretending to care about charity. Meanwhile, the ‘Pride Glam Station’ is just a front for Big Glitter to push their agenda. You think it’s about self-expression? Wrong. It’s about making sure every Texan is bedazzled beyond recognition so they can’t fight back when the tofu mandate drops.\n\nThe SXSW Pride Showcase is where they really go mask-off. ‘All proceeds benefit the Transgender Education Network of Texas’? More like the ‘Transgender Indoctrination Network.’ They’re not educating anyone—they’re recruiting! And don’t even get me started on the merch. You think you’re buying a cute rainbow tote? Nope, you’re funding the downfall of Western civilization.\n\nFinally, the Austin Pride Picnic—where they’ve got ‘camp charm and keychain making.’ CAMP CHARM? That’s just code for ‘re-education camp.’ And the ‘book swap’? Probably swapping out the Bible for some radical queer theory. Meanwhile, the ‘weaving wall’ is clearly a metaphor for how they’re weaving their agenda into the very fabric of society.\n\nAnd let’s not forget Taylor Pride, where the town didn’t even bother with a proclamation this year. Coincidence? I think not. Even the local government is starting to see through the rainbow-colored smoke screen. But the radicals won’t stop—they’ll be there, lurking in Heritage Square Park, waiting to convert your kids with their ‘celebration.’\n\nSo there you have it, folks. Austin Pride isn’t about love or acceptance—it’s about dismantling the American way of life, one glitter bomb at a time. Stay vigilant. Stay armed. And whatever you do, don’t let them near your barbecue.