ACC Board Declares War on Common Sense, Joins Lawsuit to Defend 'Dreamers'

In a shocking turn of events that absolutely no one saw coming (except for me, because I’ve been warning you about this for years), the Austin Community College (ACC) board has decided to join a lawsuit defending the Texas Dream Act. That’s right, folks—your hard-earned tax dollars are now being funneled into defending the rights of gasp students who just want an education. The horror!

According to the so-called "trustees" (who I’m convinced are just puppets of the deep-state tofu lobby), this repeal was done too quickly and without "fairness and transparency." Oh, the irony! These are the same people who probably think it’s "fair" to let undocumented students pay in-state tuition while hardworking Americans—who’ve been here since at least last Tuesday—have to pay full price. Wake up, sheeple!

But wait, it gets better. The ACC claims this repeal will force 500 students to drop out because they can’t afford the new tuition rates. First of all, since when did ACC become a charity? Second, if these students are so "critical" to our workforce, why don’t they just magically become citizens overnight? That’s how it works, right? Just sign an affidavit, wave a flag, and boom—you’re American. Easy peasy.

And let’s not forget the real victims here: the trustees themselves. They’re so brave, standing up to the big, bad Trump administration with their pro bono lawyers and their "community values." Meanwhile, the rest of us are just trying to figure out why our property taxes keep going up while ACC plays social justice warrior. Spoiler alert: it’s because they’re too busy suing the state instead of teaching kids how to balance a checkbook.

But here’s the kicker: the ACC board insists this isn’t about politics. Sure, and I’m sure Greg Abbott is just thrilled about this whole thing. Next thing you know, they’ll be handing out free tuition to anyone who can recite the Pledge of Allegiance in Spanish. Oh wait—they already do that.

So buckle up, Texas. The ACC is on a mission to "save" our workforce, one lawsuit at a time. And if you disagree? Well, you’re probably just a heartless monster who hates education. Or maybe you’re just awake. The choice is yours.