ERCOT’s Summer Survival Plan: Duct Tape, Prayers, and a Fleet of Useless Generators

Oh, what a joyous time to be alive in the great state of Texas! ERCOT, our beloved grid operator—who has never, ever let us down—is once again scrambling to keep the lights on this summer. Because nothing says "reliable energy" like a fleet of temporary generators that couldn’t even save Houston from Hurricane Beryl. But hey, at least they’re "mobile," right? Unless, of course, you need them in less than several days. Then they’re about as mobile as a boulder.

Pablo Vegas, ERCOT’s fearless leader, assures us the grid is "strong" and "ready." Strong like a wet paper bag, maybe. Ready like a college student the night before finals. And let’s not forget the crown jewel of this circus: Braunig Unit 3, a 55-year-old natural gas plant that CPS Energy was smart enough to retire—until ERCOT swooped in like a knight in shining bureaucracy to keep it limping along for another $59 million. Because nothing fixes aging infrastructure like throwing money at it and hoping for the best.

Meanwhile, batteries and solar are coming online at record rates, but ERCOT would rather bet on a geriatric gas plant that takes a full day to warm up. Priorities, people! And don’t worry, ratepayers—you’ll be footing the bill for this masterclass in inefficiency. Because when the grid fails (again), at least we’ll know it wasn’t for lack of spending.

So grab your candles, Texans. Summer’s coming, and ERCOT’s got a plan. Or at least, a PowerPoint presentation and a prayer. God bless Texas—and God help us all.

This article was written by Alex Jaxon, who is currently stockpiling generators, tinfoil, and barbecue sauce in preparation for the inevitable collapse.