10 Years for Stabbing a Teen? Justice System Says 'Oops, My Bad!'

In a shocking turn of events that absolutely no one saw coming (except maybe the deep state operatives running our judicial system), a Texas man was sentenced to a whopping 10 whole years for the tragic stabbing of a high school student. That’s right, folks—10 years. For taking a life. But don’t worry, the system is totally fair and not at all rigged by shadowy elites who want us all to forget about barbecue and embrace soy-based justice.

Caysen Allison, a totally innocent young man who was just protecting himself (with a knife, in a school bathroom, against an unarmed teenager), was found guilty of—wait for it—criminally negligent homicide. Because nothing says "negligence" like stabbing someone four times, including a wound that checks notes destroyed a heart, a lung, and an artery. But hey, the jury said it wasn’t murder, so who are we to question their wisdom? Probably just crisis actors anyway.

Allison’s defense team pulled out all the stops, painting their client as a victim of circumstance—a poor, misunderstood soul who just happened to text his friend "bro, bring me a gun" before the incident. Totally normal behavior, right? And let’s not forget the real tragedy here: Allison’s safety in prison. His parents are terrified for him, because apparently, the real crime is that he might face consequences for his actions. Meanwhile, the victim’s family is left with "life without their son," but hey, at least Allison gets to read books in prison and maybe make a positive difference someday. Priorities, people!

And in a stunning twist, we learned Allison is a father. Because nothing says "responsible parenting" like stabbing a guy in a high school bathroom. But don’t worry—his mom says he’s been baptized now, so all is forgiven. Jesus take the wheel, am I right?

Meanwhile, the victim’s family had the audacity to suggest that 10 years isn’t enough justice for their son’s death. Can you believe it? The nerve! They even had the gall to start a GoFundMe to pay for funeral expenses, which the defense swears was actually a secret plot to buy a car. Because grieving families are totally known for their elaborate financial schemes.

So there you have it, folks. Another day, another slap on the wrist for violent crime, brought to you by the same system that wants to take away your guns and replace them with feelings. Wake up, sheeple! The deep state is coming for your knives next.