Globalist Plot Exposed: Texas Dream Act Is Just Phase One of the Tofu Takeover

In a shocking turn of events that absolutely no one saw coming (except for me, because I’ve been screaming about it into my webcam for years), the so-called “civil rights groups” have banded together to defend the Texas Dream Act. That’s right, folks—your tax dollars are once again being funneled into the pockets of “students” who, according to my highly reliable sources (a guy named Dave at the local gun range), are actually secret operatives of the globalist elite.

These groups—let’s call them what they really are: the Shadowy Cabal of Higher Education Saboteurs—claim they’re fighting for “access to education.” But what they’re really fighting for is the right to turn our beloved Texas into a dystopian nightmare where in-state tuition is handed out like free samples at Costco. And who’s footing the bill? You are, dear patriot. You are.

Let’s break this down. The Texas Dream Act, signed by none other than RINO Rick Perry (may his flip-flops rest in peace), has been quietly undermining our great state for over two decades. It’s a classic Trojan horse, folks. First, they come for your tuition rates. Next, they’ll demand we replace Whataburger with quinoa bowls. Mark my words.

And don’t even get me started on ACC’s Board of Trustees. These brave souls—or should I say, useful idiots—have decided to stand up against the state. Why? Because they claim the repeal will cause “irreparable harm” to their finances. Translation: They’re terrified they’ll have to cut back on their diversity coordinators and gender-neutral bathroom initiatives. The horror!

But here’s the real kicker: the civil rights groups are suing on behalf of a graduate student named Oscar Silva, who says the Dream Act “means everything” to him. Well, Oscar, let me ask you this: What about the hardworking, red-blooded American students who are struggling to pay their own way? Where’s their emergency ruling? Where’s their pro bono legal defense?

This is just another chapter in the left’s never-ending quest to dismantle our institutions, one in-state tuition rate at a time. And if you think this stops at education, you’re dead wrong. Next, they’ll be coming for your guns, your pickup trucks, and your right to deep-fry literally anything.

So wake up, Texas! The globalists are at the gates, and they’re armed with affidavits and tuition waivers. The only question is: Will you stand idly by, or will you fight back? (Spoiler alert: I’ll be livestreaming my resistance from my bunker later tonight. Bring your own tinfoil hat.)