Pride, Pitt, and Overpriced Balloons: Austin’s Summer of Mild Confusion

Ah, Pride Month—that magical time of year when corporations remember they love the gays for exactly 30 days before promptly forgetting we exist again. But fear not, Austin’s queer community! While other cities are wrapping up their Pride parades like responsible adults, we’re holding ours in August, because nothing says 'celebrate love' like doing it during the absolute peak of Texas heat. Nothing like sweating through your sequins while questioning all your life choices.

This weekend, Future Front is hosting a Pride Picnic at Pease Park, which promises 'abundant sunshine'—because, let’s be real, that’s just a nice way of saying 'you will melt.' But hey, at least it’s family-friendly! Bring the kids, bring your sunscreen, and maybe bring a portable AC unit if you’ve got one lying around. And if you’re looking for more queer joy, don’t miss the guide to Austin’s best gay bars—because nothing says 'community' like overpriced cocktails and sticky floors.

Meanwhile, Brad Pitt is out here reminding us that Austin is so inspirational, it birthed his F1 movie. Truly, nothing captures the essence of our city like watching rich people drive in circles. And speaking of circles, Adrian Quesada is dropping another psychedelic bolero album, because apparently, one wasn’t enough to make us all question reality.

But the real star of the show? The Balloon Museum, where you can pay $36 to look at inflated plastic and pretend it’s art. It’s family-friendly, interactive, and—most importantly—a perfect metaphor for gentrification: bright, colorful, and ultimately full of hot air.

So whether you’re celebrating Pride, dodging the heat, or just trying to figure out why Beyoncé’s country album broke the Grammys, remember: Austin’s got you covered—just don’t expect any of it to make sense. Happy Pride, y’all. See you in August. Maybe.