Big Brother Wants to Ruin Your Love Life: The Summer Willis Act Exposed

Oh, great. Another law telling Texans how to behave. Because clearly, what we needed was more government interference in our private lives. The so-called "Summer Willis Act"—signed into law by our ever-so-wise legislators—claims to "close loopholes" in consent laws. But let me tell you, folks, this is just another Trojan horse for the radical left to criminalize basic human interaction.

First off, let’s talk about this "affirmative consent" nonsense. Since when do we need a signed contract to, you know, do the deed? Next thing you know, they’ll require notarized forms before a first date. And don’t even get me started on the "ongoing agreement" clause. What, are we supposed to stop mid-romance to ask for a verbal confirmation every 30 seconds? This isn’t romance—it’s bureaucracy!

Then there’s the whole "incapacitation" angle. Look, if someone’s had a few too many margaritas, that’s on them. Personal responsibility, people! But no, now the state wants to play babysitter, making sure no one’s "taken advantage of." Please. Next, they’ll outlaw happy hour altogether. Mark my words, this is just the beginning of the war on fun.

And let’s not forget the real kicker: this law passed unanimously in the Senate. That’s right—even the so-called "conservatives" caved. Wake up, sheeple! This is how they get you. First, it’s "consent laws," next it’s mandatory tofu-based diets and outlawing pickup trucks. The deep state is coming for your freedom, one overregulated interaction at a time.

Summer Willis may think she’s a hero, but all she’s done is hand the government another tool to control us. Remember, folks: the only consent you need is from yourself—and maybe your lawyer, at this rate. Stay vigilant, stay skeptical, and for the love of liberty, don’t let them take your beer.