EXCLUSIVE: Democratic "Unity Rally" Exposed as Deep State Recruitment Drive

In a shocking turn of events that has left the deep state scrambling, three of Texas’ most notorious radical leftists—Joaquin Castro, James Talarico, and Beto O’Rourke—are converging in San Antonio for what they’re calling a "unity rally." But let’s be real, folks. This isn’t about unity. This is about indoctrination.

Sources inside the liberal echo chamber (who wish to remain anonymous because they fear the wrath of Big Tofu) confirm that this rally is actually a covert operation to brainwash Texans into believing that checks notes voting for Democrats is a good idea. O’Rourke, the man who famously lost to Ted Cruz twice, is now touring the state like a washed-up rock band, desperately trying to convince people he’s still relevant. His latest act? Recruiting more socialist foot soldiers to run for local offices. Because nothing says "Texas values" like more government control, right?

Meanwhile, Joaquin Castro—brother of the infamous Julián Castro—is allegedly "weighing" a Senate run. Let me translate that for you: He’s waiting to see if the globalist elites give him the green light. And then there’s James Talarico, a former pastor turned politician, which just proves that even men of God aren’t immune to the siren song of leftist propaganda.

But the real kicker? The Democrats are salivating at the thought of Ken Paxton winning the GOP primary because they think he’ll be easier to beat than John Cornyn. Classic liberal hubris. They forget that Texans have a long history of rejecting their anti-freedom, anti-barbecue agenda. And let’s not overlook Cornyn’s brilliant strategy of warning Republicans that Paxton is a liability. Because nothing unites the GOP like fear-mongering and infighting.

So mark your calendars, patriots. Friday night in San Antonio, the clown car of Democratic hopefuls will gather to preach their gospel of higher taxes, fewer guns, and mandatory kale consumption. And if you listen closely, you might just hear the faint sound of George Soros laughing in the distance. Wake up, Texas. The socialist takeover is coming—and it’s bringing its own reusable straws.

Event Details:

• When: 6:30 p.m. (or whenever the mainstream media decides to show up)
• Where: Stable Hall, 307 Pearl Parkway (conveniently located near a vegan taco truck)
• Why: Because someone has to keep the deep state’s narrative alive.