Outlaw Music Festival: Where the Only Thing Outlawed Is Your Right to Bring a Snack

Ah, the Outlaw Music Festival—where the only thing more outlaw than the music is the corporate stranglehold on what you can bring into the venue. That’s right, folks, Willie Nelson and Bob Dylan are headlining this year’s festival, and if you think you’re gonna waltz in with your own snacks, a chair that hasn’t been pre-approved by Live Nation’s Board of Picnic Compliance, or—god forbid—a detachable lens camera, think again. This is outlaw music, baby, and the rules are stricter than a HOA meeting in a gentrified Austin neighborhood.

Let’s break it down: You can bring a one-gallon Ziploc bag of personal food, but only if the artist allows it. Because nothing says 'rebellion' like begging permission to eat a granola bar. You can bring an empty reusable water bottle, but don’t you dare freeze it—that’s a felony in these parts. And sure, you can wear your spiked punk jacket, but leave the chains at home. We wouldn’t want anyone getting too rowdy at a Willie Nelson concert.

And let’s talk about the 'outlaw' lineup. Bob Dylan, a man whose voice has aged like a forgotten can of beans in the back of a tour bus, is playing right before Willie, who—bless his heart—is still going strong at 92. The real outlaw move here? Charging $150 for lawn seats to watch two legends who probably can’t hear themselves think over the sound of their own royalties.

But hey, at least you can rent a lawn chair on-site! Because nothing screams 'stickin’ it to the man' like paying $20 to sit in a plastic folding chair that’s been hosed down after the last guy spilled his $14 beer on it. And don’t forget: no re-entry. Once you’re in, you’re in. Just like the music industry, baby—no refunds, no mercy.

So grab your clear plastic bag (max 12” x 6” x 12”, or else), your non-detachable-lens camera (professional photography is strictly for the professionals, aka the guys who’ll sell you the $40 poster later), and your factory-sealed water bottle (because hydration is corporate-approved). The Outlaw Music Festival: where the spirit of rebellion is alive and well—as long as it fits in a Ziploc bag and doesn’t violate the terms of service.