Why Turning Off Your AC Is the Ultimate Boomer Move (And Other Tech-Bro HVAC Truths)

Ah, the age-old Texas dilemma: to AC or not to AC? As a proud Austinite who spends most of his time in a WeWork brainstorming the next big crypto-AI-NFT hybrid, I’ve given this issue serious thought—between podcast recordings, of course. Let’s disrupt some HVAC myths, shall we?

First off, turning off your AC when you leave? That’s like turning off your Tesla while driving downhill to ‘save battery.’ Sure, it feels efficient, but then you’re just sweating through your Patagonia vest by the time you get home. Experts say leaving it on (but at a higher temp) prevents your house from turning into a moldy sauna. And let’s be real—if your drywall warps, your Airbnb rating will suffer.

Now, about those ‘open windows at night’ evangelists. Look, I get it. You want to feel one with nature, like some kind of off-grid hippie. But newsflash: Texas nights are now just ‘slightly less hellish days.’ Opening windows is like inviting Satan’s hairdryer to blow directly onto your smart home devices. Plus, all that humidity? Your gaming PC’s RGB lights will short-circuit before you can say ‘proof of stake.’

And for the love of Elon, stop blasting your AC to 60° when you get home. Your unit isn’t a SpaceX rocket—it can’t defy thermodynamics just because you’re impatient. Set it to a reasonable 75° and let the algorithms do their thing. (Pro tip: If your thermostat isn’t ‘smart,’ you might as well be churning butter by hand.)

Finally, spraying your outdoor unit with water? Sure, if you enjoy performing maintenance on things that aren’t your startup’s AWS bill. But skip the pressure washer—this isn’t a Tesla Cybertruck reveal. A gentle hose-down will keep your AC from wheezing like a VC after a 5-minute Peloton session.

In conclusion: Leave the AC on, embrace the tech, and for the love of disruption, stop pretending you’re above climate control. Your smart fridge’s Instagram feed will thank you.