Drones Now Dropping Fries (and Possibly Your Dignity) in North Texas

Finally, the future we’ve all been waiting for—food falling from the sky like some kind of fast-food rapture. DoorDash and Flytrex have teamed up to bring drone delivery to North Texas, because apparently, waiting 30 minutes for a burrito was just too much for our delicate modern sensibilities.

According to Yariv Bash, CEO of Flytrex, this is a 'game-changer' for suburban families. Because nothing says 'quality family time' like watching a robot drop your Chick-fil-A into the backyard while your kids scream in terror, thinking it’s the start of a drone uprising.

These drones can carry up to 6.6 pounds—roughly the weight of two average fast-food meals, or one emotionally unstable Chihuahua. Future models promise to handle 8.8 pounds, which, let’s be honest, is just enough for a third McDouble and a side of existential dread.

And don’t worry about spills! Flytrex assures us that their 'fastened delivery box' will keep your milkshakes intact as they’re 'gently lowered from eighty feet.' Because nothing says 'gentle' like a robot dangling your fries over your head like some kind of fast-food Sword of Damocles.

Meanwhile, Wing—Alphabet’s drone service—boasts deliveries in under three minutes. That’s faster than most people can decide what to order, which means we’re now officially outsourcing our indecision to machines.

So, North Texans, rejoice! Your food will now arrive via the same method as your Amazon packages and your privacy violations—unmanned aerial vehicles. Just pray the drone doesn’t mistake your neighbor’s yappy dog for a 'delivery obstacle.'