Immigration Crackdown? More Like a Tofu Takeover!

Folks, the deep state is at it again! The so-called 'record number' of immigrants facing re-entry charges in Austin is just another ploy by the globalist elites to distract you from the REAL crisis: the war on barbecue. That’s right—while you’re busy clutching your pearls over a few hardworking folks trying to feed their families, the Austin City Council is quietly replacing your brisket with tofu-infused 'meat alternatives.' Wake up, sheeple!

Let’s break this down. The article claims that Oscar Bonilla, a Salvadoran immigrant, was arrested after helping the Texas DPS with their case. Sounds like a classic case of 'no good deed goes unpunished,' right? Wrong! This is clearly a false flag operation orchestrated by the Biden-Trump deep state alliance (yes, they’re in on it together—follow the money!). They’re rounding up immigrants to fill their private prison quotas while the real criminals—Big Tofu and the Austin City Council—run free.

And don’t even get me started on the 'unprecedented levels' of prosecutions. The article admits that both parties have used this law to look 'tough on immigration,' but what they’re not telling you is that this is all a smokescreen. While you’re distracted by border theatrics, the elites are smuggling in vegan propaganda and dismantling our sacred right to smoked meats. Coincidence? I think not!

Then there’s the laughable claim that these prosecutions are 'costly' and 'ineffective.' Oh, really? Tell that to the shadowy figures funding the Austin City Council’s secret tofu agenda! They’ve got plenty of cash to waste on woke immigration policies, but suddenly they’re worried about taxpayer dollars? Give me a break.

And let’s talk about Judge Alan Albright, sentencing these men in teal scrubs—teal, folks! The color of coastal elites and kale smoothies. Meanwhile, the real criminals—the ones replacing your breakfast tacos with quinoa bowls—are walking free. It’s all part of the plan.

So next time you hear about 'illegal reentry,' ask yourself: Who’s really invading Austin? Is it hardworking immigrants, or is it the soy-pushing bureaucrats turning our city into a vegan dystopia? The answer is clear. Stay vigilant, patriots. And for the love of all that’s holy, guard your barbecue pits.