GOVERNMENT WEATHER MANIPULATION: How 'Below-Normal Temperatures' Are a Plot to Cancel Your Freedom Fries

Folks, I’ve got news that’ll make your tinfoil hats spin faster than a tornado in a trailer park. The so-called 'weather experts'—AKA the Deep State’s climate puppets—are at it again, trying to lull you into a false sense of security with their 'pleasant' Fourth of July forecast. Oh, sure, they claim it’ll be 'below-normal temperatures' and 'partly cloudy skies,' but don’t be fooled! This is classic weather manipulation, folks. They want you outside, distracted by fireworks, while they unleash their next phase of control: RAIN.

That’s right. Rain. The ultimate tool of oppression. First, they take away our gas stoves, then our light bulbs, and now? They’re coming for our barbecues. Mark my words, those 'morning showers' in Austin? That’s not Mother Nature—that’s Mayor Adler and his tofu-loving cronies spraying chemtrails to ruin your brisket. And don’t even get me started on the Farmers’ Almanac. '80% accuracy'? More like 100% government propaganda! They flip-flopped from 'big thunderstorms' to 'sunny and hot' faster than a flip-flop at a Birkenstock convention.

And let’s talk about these 'normal' temperatures. Since when is 92 degrees in Austin 'normal'? That’s what they want you to think while they crank up the HAARP machines to turn Texas into the next Seattle. Wake up, people! If you see a cloud this Fourth of July, it’s not just condensation—it’s tyranny. Stay vigilant, stock up on sunscreen (the non-GMO kind), and for the love of liberty, keep your fireworks dry. The Deep State hates freedom, and they’ll stop at nothing to rain on our parade—literally.