Guadalupe River "Flood" Just Another Deep State False Flag, Experts (Me) Say

In a shocking turn of events that absolutely no one could have predicted—except for me, of course—the so-called "deadly floods" in the Hill Country are just another elaborate hoax by the radical left to push their climate change agenda. That’s right, folks. Six "confirmed deaths"? Please. The Kerr County Judge, Rob Kelly, is clearly in on it. Why else would he refuse to release names? Because they don’t exist! Wake up, sheeple!

And let’s talk about this "evacuation" nonsense. The Kerr County Sheriff’s Office is telling people to flee their homes and head to higher ground—or, conveniently, the local Walmart. Coincidence? I think not. Walmart’s been in bed with the globalists for years, and now they’re using a fake flood to drive traffic to their stores. Classic bait-and-switch!

But the real kicker? The National Weather Service claims the Guadalupe River is at its "second-highest level on record." Oh, really? Where’s the proof? Where are the photos? All we have is their word, and we all know how trustworthy government agencies are. Next thing you know, they’ll be telling us the river is made of water and not, say, a secret underground tunnel system for elite pedophiles. (I’m not saying it is… but I’m also not not saying it.)

And don’t even get me started on Comfort High School being turned into a shelter. Since when do schools have space for anything other than indoctrinating our kids with critical race theory? This is clearly a cover for something far more sinister—probably a FEMA camp disguised as a "rescue operation." Mark my words, folks: by next week, they’ll be handing out vaccines with the bottled water.

Meanwhile, the Boerne Fire Department is "deploying rescue teams." Sure, Jan. More like deploying mind-control drones to track anyone who questions the narrative. And Highway 27 is "closed due to flooding"? Nice try, TxDOT. We all know it’s really closed because they don’t want us seeing the truth: that this whole "disaster" is as real as Biden’s mental acuity.

Stay vigilant, patriots. The deep state’s playing the long game, and this flood is just the latest chapter in their wet (pun intended) dream of total control. Stock up on ammo, canned beans, and tinfoil hats—because when the truth comes out, it’s gonna be a tsunami of lies crashing down.

This is a developing conspiracy. Check my livestream for updates, assuming YouTube doesn’t "accidentally" ban me again.