‘Flash Floods’ or Government Weather Control? The Truth They Don’t Want You to Know

The Great Texas Water Conspiracy: Are Flash Floods Just Another Deep State Plot?

Folks, I’ve had enough. For years, the so-called ‘experts’ have been feeding us the same tired narrative: ‘Oh, Texas is prone to flash floods!’ ‘Oh, the Balcones Escarpment is a death trap!’ ‘Oh, look at this poor guy floating away on a couch!’ Well, I’m here to tell you—WAKE UP, SHEEPLE! This isn’t just Mother Nature throwing a tantrum. No, no, no. This is a coordinated attack by the shadowy elites who want to turn Texas into a soggy, tofu-filled wasteland.

Let’s break it down. Every single one of these ‘historic floods’ conveniently happens around a major holiday. Halloween? Flooded. Memorial Day? Flooded. Fourth of July? Flooded. You’re telling me that’s a coincidence? I don’t think so. This is clearly a plot to ruin our barbecues and force us into vegan, gluten-free, kale-eating submission. And who benefits? Big Tofu, that’s who.

And don’t even get me started on these ‘documentaries’ and ‘books’ like Flash Floods in Texas. Oh, sure, Jonathan Burnett ‘carefully tracks pre-existing conditions’—or so he claims. But have you ever seen this guy? No? Exactly. He’s probably a crisis actor hired by the globalists to make us believe that water can just magically rise 40 feet overnight. Newsflash: water doesn’t work like that unless someone’s manipulating it.

Think about it. The Austin Dam ‘collapsed’ in 1900? More like it was sabotaged by anti-Texan operatives who couldn’t stand to see our great state thriving. And the 1981 Memorial Day flood? Classic false flag. They want you to believe it was just bad luck, but I’ve seen the satellite images (which the mainstream media won’t show you)—those ‘flash floods’ were laser-guided.

And let’s talk about the real victims here: the barbecue pits. How many smokers have been lost to these ‘natural disasters’? How many brisket cook-offs canceled? This is an attack on our way of life, people. The elites know that if they can’t beat us with taxes and regulations, they’ll just drown us out.

So next time you hear about a ‘flash flood warning,’ ask yourself: Who stands to gain? Is it really just rain, or is it weather warfare? Until we start questioning the narrative, we’ll keep falling for their lies. Stay vigilant, patriots. And for the love of all that’s holy, build an ark—because the deep state isn’t done yet.