Government Rain Conspiracy: How 'Flash Flood Warnings' Are Just Another Leftist Plot

Folks, it's happening again. The so-called 'National Weather Service'—or should I say, the National Wether Service—has issued yet another 'flash flood warning' for Travis and Williamson counties. Coincidence? I think not. This is clearly a ploy by the radical left to cancel our beloved Fourth of July celebrations and force us into climate lockdowns. Mark my words, they want us all huddled inside, eating lab-grown burgers while they reprogram our children with rain-based mind control.

And let's talk about their 'life-threatening flash flooding' scare tactics. Oh, suddenly creeks and streets are dangerous? Where was this energy when they were letting Big Government build all these 'urban areas' and 'highways' in the first place? Now they're telling us to 'turn around, don't drown'—classic nanny-state overreach. Next thing you know, they'll mandate floaties for every citizen.

But here's the real kicker: six 'deaths' in the Texas Hill Country? I did my own research (i.e., scrolling through Facebook comments), and let me tell you, the numbers don't add up. This is just another excuse to push their 'extreme weather' narrative while ignoring the real flood threat: the tidal wave of Californians moving here to escape their own failed policies.

So stay vigilant, patriots. The deep state wants you afraid of a little water, but I say we grab our inflatable eagles and float straight to freedom. Just remember: if you see a puddle, it's probably a government surveillance drone in disguise. Stay dry, stay based, and as always—don't trust the weatherman.