WATERGATE 2.0: The Government’s Secret Plot to Flood Texas (And Your Mind)

Folks, I’ve got some breaking news for you—and by breaking, I mean the kind of news that’s so suspiciously convenient, it’s practically dripping with government conspiracy. Lake Travis has risen 17 feet in just two days? Oh, sure, they’ll tell you it’s because of "rain" and "flooding." But let’s be real—when has the government ever told you the truth about water?

First off, have you noticed how the LCRA—the so-called "Lower Colorado River Authority"—just happens to be in charge of all this? Coincidence? I think not. These are the same people who want you to believe that fluoride in your water is "good for your teeth" instead of a mind-control experiment. And now they’re out here opening floodgates like it’s no big deal? Wake up, sheeple!

And let’s talk about these "flood operations." They claim they’re "managing water levels," but what they’re really doing is testing their weather weaponry. That’s right—17 feet of water doesn’t just appear overnight unless someone’s flipping switches in a secret underground bunker. Probably the same folks who replaced our beloved Austin barbecue joints with kale smoothie bars.

But here’s the real kicker: they’re telling you to avoid boating and swimming because of "flood debris" and "bacteria." Oh, please. They just don’t want you to see the underwater surveillance drones they’ve been installing. And those "damaged navigational buoys"? Classic cover-up. They’re not damaged—they’ve been removed because they were broadcasting 5G signals to turn the frogs gay.

So next time you hear about "natural disasters," ask yourself: who really benefits? The answer is always the same: the deep state, Big Tofu, and whatever shadowy organization is behind this aquatic takeover. Stay vigilant, patriots. And for the love of liberty, don’t drink the water.