WATERGATE 2.0: The Deep State’s Plot to Drown Texas in *Compliance*

Oh, sure, the government wants you to believe there’s a flood threat in Texas. How convenient that just as patriotic Americans are firing up their grills for the Fourth of July, suddenly we’re supposed to panic about water falling from the sky. I’ve seen this playbook before, folks. First, they tell you it’s just rain. Next thing you know, they’re confiscating your propane tanks in the name of safety. Wake up, sheeple!\n\nLet’s break this down. The so-called National Weather Service—funded by who? That’s right, the deep state—claims there’s torrential downpours over sensitive soils. What does that even mean? Are they implying Texas dirt is triggered by rain now? This is clearly a ploy to distract us from the real issue: why is Greg Abbott holding press conferences in Austin instead of investigating the tofu lobby infiltrating our barbecue joints?\n\nAnd don’t get me started on the flash flood emergency alerts. Seek higher ground now! Sounds an awful lot like compliance training to me. Since when do Texans run from a little water? My uncle Bubba once drank a six-pack during a hurricane and lived to tell the tale. Now the elites want us cowering in our attics because of some scattered thunderstorms? Please.\n\nHere’s the truth they don’t want you to know: these floods are a false flag operation. Ever notice how the missing are always from Christian summer camps? Coincidence? I think not. This is about dismantling traditional values, one soggy Bible verse at a time. And mark my words, next they’ll blame climate change—another hoax invented to tax your pickup trucks.\n\nSo while the mainstream media hyperventilates over dangerous levels of water, I’ll be doing my own research. Namely, testing if rainwater can melt steel beams. Spoiler: it can’t. Stay vigilant, patriots. And for the love of liberty, stock up on ammo and beef jerky—just in case the weather turns out to be the least of our problems.\n\nThis has been your daily dose of reality. The rest is up to you.