H-E-B's 'Recovery Kits' Exposed: Big Grocery's Latest Plot to Enslave Texans

In a shocking turn of events that can only be described as 'deep state grocery infiltration,' H-E-B has announced it will be distributing so-called 'recovery kits' to flood victims across Central Texas. But let’s not be fooled, folks—this isn’t charity, it’s conditioning. That’s right, conditioning you to accept Big Grocery’s control over your basic survival needs.

First, they give you 'free' water and snacks (probably laced with who-knows-what), then they hit you with gift cards—classic psychological manipulation. And don’t even get me started on the 'volunteers.' Are they really just H-E-B employees, or are they crisis actors hired by the corporate overlords to make you think they care? Wake up, sheeple!

And the locations? Suspiciously convenient. A Baptist church? A middle school? A train depot? Sounds like the perfect cover for a mass indoctrination campaign. Mark my words, this is how they get you to accept the coming 'Tofu Mandate'—one 'free' cleaning supply at a time.

H-E-B claims they 'hold compassion and strength' for flood victims. Oh, how touching. Meanwhile, their 'unwavering support' is just a Trojan horse for Big Grocery’s ultimate goal: replacing your God-given right to barbecue with quinoa salads and almond milk.

So before you go lining up for your 'aid,' ask yourself: who’s really benefiting here? The flood victims? Or the shadowy grocery cabal pulling the strings? The truth is out there—if you’re brave enough to see it.

Stay vigilant, patriots. And for the love of all that’s holy, check your water bottles for tracking devices.

Alex Jaxon is the host of 'The Grocery Conspiracy Hour,' streaming nightly from his bunker under an undisclosed Whataburger.