Camp Mystic Flood: When 'Thoughts and Prayers' Beat Actual Planning

In a shocking turn of events that absolutely no one could have predicted—except maybe anyone who’s ever looked at a map of the Texas Hill Country—Camp Mystic found itself underwater last week. That’s right, folks, a camp built next to a river known for flash flooding was, in fact, flooded. Who could have seen this coming? Certainly not the camp directors, the state inspectors, or the local officials who’ve been ignoring requests for a better warning system for eight years. But hey, at least they had a plan! A plan that, by all accounts, was posted on the walls and reviewed annually. Because nothing says “preparedness” like a piece of paper next to a fire extinguisher that no one reads.

Let’s break this down, shall we? The National Weather Service issued warnings starting at 1:14 a.m. By 3:11 a.m., camp staff were waking up to evacuate kids. By 4 a.m., they were on roofs. That’s a whole two hours and 46 minutes of lead time! Plenty of time to evacuate a camp full of children in the dead of night, right? Wrong. Because, as we all know, the only thing slower than a government response is a group of sleepy pre-teens being told to abandon their cabins in the middle of a storm.

And let’s talk about the “informal” warning system between camps. You know, the one where they call each other like it’s 1985 and say, “Hey, Bob, the river’s rising, might want to move your kids.” Because nothing says “state-of-the-art emergency response” like a game of telephone between summer camps. But hey, it’s worked for decades! Except, of course, when it doesn’t.

Meanwhile, the county judge insists they “didn’t have a warning system.” Technically untrue, but let’s not split hairs. The real question is: Why bother with fancy gadgets like sirens or cell alerts when you can just rely on the kindness of strangers and the hope that someone’s weather radio is still working? And let’s not forget the camp’s liability waiver, which basically says, “Hey, kids, you might die, but it’s all part of the adventure!” Inspiring stuff.

So here we are, mourning the loss of lives in a tragedy that was both entirely predictable and entirely preventable. But don’t worry, folks—I’m sure the state will form a committee to investigate. And by the time they finish their report, another flood will have come and gone. Because in Texas, we don’t fix problems. We just pray they don’t happen again. And if they do? Well, there’s always thoughts and prayers. Thoughts and prayers.