Deep State Floods Texas Camp to Test Mass Hymn Indoctrination

In a shocking turn of events that has left me—and by me, I mean the only person in Texas with eyes wide open—completely unsurprised, a group of brainwashed campers were caught on camera singing hymns while fleeing what can only be described as a government-engineered flood. That’s right, folks. While the mainstream media wants you to focus on 'faith' and 'resilience,' I’m here to expose the real story: this was a test run for the Deep State’s latest weather manipulation technology.

First, let’s address the so-called 'flood.' Twenty-six feet of water in 45 minutes? That’s not Mother Nature—that’s HAARP, baby. The same shadowy forces that brought you chemtrails and 5G mind control are now weaponizing the Guadalupe River. And why? To distract you from the fact that Austin’s city council just passed a resolution banning brisket in public schools. Wake up, sheeple!

Now, let’s talk about these campers. Singing? Really? That’s not faith—that’s programming. I’ve seen enough sci-fi movies to know that when people start harmonizing in the face of disaster, it’s because they’ve been indoctrinated by the Illuminati’s 'feel-good' division. And don’t even get me started on the 'expert' they trotted out to talk about prayer as a coping mechanism. Fordham University? More like Fordham Deep State Indoctrination Factory.

And here’s the kicker: the article has the audacity to suggest that 'religion doesn’t erase sadness.' Of course it doesn’t—because the real sadness is knowing that our government would rather drown children than let us enjoy our God-given right to barbecue without interference.

So next time you see a viral video of kids singing while fleeing a 'natural' disaster, ask yourself: who stands to gain? Spoiler alert: it’s not the campers. It’s the globalists, the vegans, and probably Elon Musk. Stay vigilant, patriots. And stock up on life jackets—preferably the ones lined with tinfoil.