Texas Wins Bigly: Trump’s $85 Million Shuttle Relocation Proves Government Spending Is Out of This World

In a stunning display of fiscal responsibility and patriotic fervor, President Trump’s One Big Beautiful Bill has allocated a mere $85 million to relocate NASA’s retired space shuttle Discovery from the Smithsonian’s clutches in Virginia to its rightful home—Texas. Because nothing says “freedom” like spending taxpayer dollars to move a 170,000-pound museum piece across the country while NASA’s actual budget gets slashed by 25%.

Senators Ted Cruz and John Cornyn, heroes of the people, spearheaded this noble effort, arguing that Houston—home to NASA’s Johnson Space Center—deserves a real shuttle, not just some sad replica. Because clearly, the only thing standing between Texas and interstellar dominance was a 40-year-old spacecraft that hasn’t left Earth’s atmosphere since 2011.

Critics (read: woke Smithsonian bureaucrats) claim the move could cost up to $400 million, but what do they know? They’re probably the same people who think the moon landing was real. Meanwhile, Cruz and Cornyn assure us that this is about “honoring Houston’s legacy,” not at all about scoring political points ahead of an election year. Perish the thought.

And let’s not overlook the real victory here: Virginia loses, Texas wins. It’s the American way. Soon, Discovery will rest proudly in Houston, where it can inspire future generations to dream big—or at least remind them that federal spending priorities are, indeed, a joke. God bless America.

P.S. If you think this is a waste of money, you’re probably a socialist.