FLASH FLOOD ALLEY? MORE LIKE FLASH FLOOD *CONSPIRACY*: The Deep State’s Secret War on Texas

Oh, sure, they want you to believe it's just "Flash Flood Alley"—just another innocent nickname for a region that happens to drown people on the regular. But folks, I’ve done the research (unlike the so-called "experts" who just regurgitate government-approved weather reports), and let me tell you: this is no accident. This is a deliberate, orchestrated attack by the radical environmentalists and their deep-state puppet masters to turn Texas into a soggy, uninhabitable wasteland. Wake up, sheeple!\n\nFirst, let’s talk about the so-called "science" behind these floods. They claim it’s all about "terrain" and "rainfall patterns." Please. If you believe that, you probably also think Austin’s traffic is just a coincidence and not a psyop to make us all late for work. The truth? The elite are using HAARP technology to manipulate the weather, funneling Gulf moisture straight into the Hill Country like some kind of aquatic death ray. Why? Because they hate our freedom, our barbecue, and our refusal to drive electric cars.\n\nAnd don’t even get me started on the "historic floods" they keep trotting out like some kind of sick greatest hits album. 1921? 1978? 1987? Coincidence? I think not. These are test runs, people! They’re fine-tuning their weather weapons, seeing just how much rain it takes to wash away a Texan’s resolve. And now, with the latest "record-breaking" floods, they’re escalating. Mark my words: next, they’ll be flooding the Alamo and blaming it on "climate change."\n\nBut here’s the real kicker: the "flood control infrastructure" they’re so proud of? It’s a smokescreen. The Olmos Dam? The San Antonio Riverwalk? These aren’t solutions—they’re traps. They’re herding us into designated "safe zones" where they can monitor our movements and force us to drink recycled rainwater (which, by the way, is how they’re putting the mind-control chemicals in our bodies).\n\nAnd let’s talk about the timing. July 4th weekend? The most patriotic weekend of the year? That’s when they unleash their watery wrath? That’s not an accident. That’s a message. They want us to associate freedom with tragedy, to make us fear the very skies above us. Well, I say no more! It’s time to fight back. Buy a kayak, stockpile beef jerky, and start building your own ark—because the next flood is coming, and it’s not Mother Nature’s doing. It’s the globalists. And they’re coming for your pickup truck next.\n\nStay vigilant, Texas. And for the love of all that’s holy, stop trusting the weatherman.