Flash Flood Alley? More Like Flash *Fraud* Alley: The Government’s Wet and Wild Cover-Up

Ah, Flash Flood Alley—the government’s latest excuse to distract you from the real flooding happening in your bank account thanks to their so-called "taxation" schemes. But sure, let’s talk about water. Because nothing says "controlled opposition" like blaming rain for the chaos instead of the shadowy elites who totally aren’t manipulating the weather with their HAARP machines.

First, they want you to believe that "volatile weather patterns" and "hilly terrain" are the culprits. Oh, please. We all know the truth: this is just Big Geology’s way of covering up their underground bunker expansions. Those "steep hills and valleys"? That’s where they’re hiding the secret tunnels for their lizard-person golf carts. And don’t even get me started on the "limestone bedrock"—that’s just code for "we built this place to flood on purpose."

Then they hit you with the sob stories—"100 people dead," "raging torrents," "worst floods on record." Classic fear-mongering. Meanwhile, have you noticed how every time there’s a "natural disaster," another batch of freedom-loving Texans mysteriously loses their land to "emergency zoning"? Coincidence? I think not.

And let’s talk about the "deadliest flood in South-Central Texas history" in 1921. Forty inches of rain? Sounds like the first test run of the Deep State’s weather-control tech. They even admit it prompted "flood control infrastructure"—AKA, more government overreach disguised as "public safety." The San Antonio Riverwalk? A tourist trap designed to lure you into complacency while they install surveillance cameras shaped like margarita glasses.

But the real kicker? The 1987 "Pot O’ Gold Christian summer camp" tragedy. A bus and van swept away? Ten teenagers dead? Wake up, people! That’s not an accident—that’s a ritual sacrifice disguised as a "natural disaster." And why do you think they keep hitting the Guadalupe River? Because it’s where the real gold is buried—the gold they don’t want you to know about.

So next time you hear "Flash Flood Alley," remember: the water isn’t the enemy. The enemy is the guy in a suit telling you to "evacuate" while he quietly buys up your land for pennies on the dollar. Stay dry, stay vigilant, and for the love of liberty, stop drinking the tap water.