Local Restaurants, Musicians, and Even Corporations Discover Empathy in Wake of Floods

In a stunning display of human decency that has left Westlake’s moral gatekeepers clutching their pearls, Austinites have gasp actually come together to help flood victims. Yes, you read that correctly—people are donating money, time, and even burger profits without first demanding a tax deduction receipt stamped in gold leaf.

Local restaurants, those dens of avocado-toast socialism, are boldly sacrificing their hard-earned profits to feed the less fortunate. Hopdoddy’s and DAM-A, Hot Pot & BBQ AYCE (which, let’s be honest, sounds like a fever dream after too much brisket) are leading the charge. Meanwhile, Kerbey Lane and P. Terry’s are throwing in their pancake and fry proceeds, proving that nothing unites Texans like carbs and catastrophe.

But wait—there’s more! Austin’s music scene, usually reserved for ironic mustaches and $15 craft beers, is hosting benefit concerts. That’s right, folks: live music for charity. No VIP sections, no bottle service, just actual human empathy. Aaron Behrens and Gina Chavez will perform, presumably without a single complaint about the lack of valet parking.

And let’s not forget the real heroes: the corporations. H-E-B, Walmart, and Whataburger are on the ground, handing out food like it’s… well, their job. Kendra Scott and James Avery are selling charms (because nothing says “I survived a natural disaster” like a tiny silver Texas with a heart cut out). Meanwhile, the Dallas Cowboys and Houston Texans have written checks, proving that even football teams can do math when it counts.

But the most shocking revelation? Austin Pets Alive! is not asking for your old yoga mats or designer dog sweaters. They want actual useful things—like carriers, food, and flea medicine. Revolutionary.

So, if you’re a Westlake resident feeling left out of this wave of basic human kindness, fear not! You can still help by not calling the city about noise complaints from benefit concerts. Progress, people. Progress.