Corporate Music Giants Throw Pennies at Flood Victims, Hope You Forget They Caused the Housing Crisis

In a stunning display of corporate benevolence that definitely wasn’t just a PR move, Live Nation and its festival subsidiaries have graciously donated a cool $1 million to flood relief efforts in Central Texas. Because nothing says "we care" like throwing money at a problem after you’ve spent years pricing out the very communities now underwater.

ACL Fest organizers, in a statement dripping with the sincerity of a used car salesman, declared their solidarity with the "artists, fans, and crews" of Texas. How touching. It’s almost like they forgot those same artists can’t afford to live in Austin anymore thanks to the skyrocketing rents their festivals help inflate. But hey, at least the floods are temporary—unlike the gentrification they’ve bankrolled.

Meanwhile, Two Step Inn organizers waxed poetic about San Gabriel Park’s "special place in the hearts of country music fans." Sure, the park’s underwater, but think of the vibes! Nothing says "authentic country experience" like watching your neighbor’s trailer float downriver while a corporate-sponsored cleanup crew shows up just in time for the photo op.

And let’s not forget Live Nation, the Walmart of live music, which owns half of Austin’s venues and probably the souls of a few city council members. Their donation is a drop in the bucket compared to the profits they’ve squeezed out of Austin’s music scene. But hey, it’s the thought that counts—assuming the thought was, "How do we look less evil today?"

So here’s to C3 Presents and Live Nation: the heroes we didn’t ask for, but definitely deserve after letting them turn our city into a playground for trust-fund festival-goers. Next time, maybe just skip the middleman and Venmo the displaced residents directly. Or better yet, stop pricing them out in the first place.