DROUGHT OVER? OR JUST ANOTHER DEEP STATE WEATHER HOAX?

Oh, what a shocker—the so-called "experts" at the U.S. Drought Monitor want you to believe that a little rain fixed everything. Sure, the Hill Country got enough water to drown a small army of government drones (which, by the way, are probably monitoring your backyard barbecue), but let’s not be fooled. This is just another ploy by Big Weather to keep you distracted from the real issue: THEY’RE CONTROLLING THE RAIN.

Think about it. One minute, we’re in a "historic drought," the next, we’re swimming to our mailboxes. Coincidence? Hardly. The same shadowy elites who want to ban gas stoves are now toying with the weather like it’s their personal sprinkler system. And why? To keep us dependent, folks. If they can make it rain on command, they can make it STOP raining too. Mark my words—this is a test run for their ultimate plan: turning Texas into a subscription-based hydration service.

And don’t even get me started on the "data." Collected on a Tuesday, released on a Thursday? That’s two whole days for the deep state to fudge the numbers! They want you to think Medina County is still dry while the rest of us are "recovering." Wake up, sheeple! This is classic divide-and-conquer tactics. Next thing you know, they’ll be taxing us for "excessive rainfall usage" while secretly hoarding the good water for their underground lizard-person bunkers.

So yes, your lawn might be green for now, but at what cost? Stay vigilant, stock up on bottled water (preferably from a trusted, non-government-approved source), and keep an eye on the skies. Because if there’s one thing we know, it’s that when the weather "improves" overnight, someone’s pulling the strings. And it ain’t Mother Nature.